The biggest fad in modern relationships is over-dramatizing their end. Stop listening to sad breakup songs, and start wiping your tears with a big ol' piece of reality.
1. If they thought about you as much as you thought about them, you would probably still be together.
Let's be real, your ex probably isn't writing "open letter" articles to you and crying every night in bed. Chances are, if you got dumped (it happens to everyone!) then your ex is probably going about their normal life, trying to move on like you should. The biggest problem with human emotion is that we tend to over-romanticize the truth. Did you and your ex have a true emotional bond and everlasting love? Well, definitely not the latter, obviously. No matter how good you felt when you were together, and no matter how much you look back on the fond memories of your relationship and question why it had to end, there is solid reasoning why your relationship is over. Not everyone is meant to be together forever, and it is possible to appreciate the good memories you had together without having the obligation to stay together.
2. Your friends are not your personal therapists.
This might be harsh, but it's necessary. Friends are expected to listen to your problems, offer advice and help in the best way they can. They should not be expected to be your personal counselors for months on end. Relationships end — it happens. Chances are, if you have been talking non-stop about your ex since your breakup weeks ago, your friends are getting real tired of hearing about it. Try to remember that they each have their own issues, whether it be in their relationships or in other aspects of their personal lives, and they should not be expected to constantly cater to you. It's okay to ask for help or company from friends when you need it; it's not okay to take advantage of the empathy of your friends without considering how their lives might be going. Every single person on this earth has a problem in their life they might need help with; don't make your friends the event coordinators at your pity party.
3. Your life should not be based around another person.
As hard as it is to believe, you did lead a fulfilling life before you met your ex. You went out, you had fun, you ate good food, and you hit on a lot of people at that Halloween party (and they hit on you back!). Another person that held a temporary guest spot in your life should not take priority over your life. Look to what defines you as a person and try and grow in those areas. When relationships end, it leaves a lot of room for extra time to dedicate to yourself. Start reading the books on your reading list, go on daily walks and exercise, study extra hard for your courses, grow your own vegetables in your backyard, write new music, whatever! Use the newfound time in your day to improve the quality of your life. Don't waste this time reminiscing on what could have been. Plus, you are gonna be saving a lot of money in your new single life.
4. Being rejected by one person does not determine your worth.
Just because you and your ex may not have been right for each other, it doesn't mean that you will never find someone else. It's cliché, but there are more than plenty of fish in the sea. In fact, there are about 7.25 billion fish in the sea and one bad one shouldn't deter your hope for finding someone new. This doesn't mean that you always need to be in a relationship, however. Often, when you take the time to improve yourself and search for the right person, you will lead a more fulfilling relationship than having short flings here and there to patch yourself up.
5. The love you receive from your friends and family will never compare to that of your former flings.
When relationships end, it's easy to feel so entirely alone that you look past all the people in your life that care about you immensely. Your relationships with friends and family are so important, and it is especially important to recognize this after your relationship with your ex ends. Don't focus on the love you feel that you are lacking in one area of your life; focus on the overflowing amount of love you receive from the people closest to you in your life. Take this time after the end of relationship to improve on your other relationships. Go on dates with your friends. Hang out with your parents. Call your grandma. Because these people are pretty much stuck with you for life and will love you through any bump in the road you may have.
Moral of the story: Put your big girl or big boy pants on, and go do you for a change.
