Whether you're a teen or an adult, we always have this expectation and hope that we're always going to have amazing friends and have a booming social life, especially when you move into a new school, job or city. However, sometimes those amazing friends and social opportunities just don't show up, leaving you with no choice but to sit at home watching Netflix on Friday and Saturday nights and wondering why you just can't seem to be meeting the right people. Here are somethings that people sometimes unconsciously do that could be hurting your social life.
1. You're to sucked into your phone
We all know how easy it is to spend hours on our phones on various social media sites without even noticing. However, too much time and attention on social media can cause us to become unsocial. If you're out at school, work or even just hanging out at a café, put your phone down. Having your eyes glued to your screen makes you seem unapproachable and uninterested in the people and things around. Especially when meeting, talking, or hanging out with a new person, make sure you're paying attention to them. If you're constantly on your phone while they're talking, this shows to them that you're bored with them and that you do not value them. This can push any potential new friend away.
2. You let opportunities go by
If you are a part of any type of community, whether it be an office, university, or neighborhood, there are so many opportunities to get involved and meet people. And if there aren't, then make the opportunities yourself! If you're any thing like me, then you probably love to come home right after class or work and nap the day away. But by resisting that urge and going to that club meeting you're kind of interested in and by taking that invitation to go to lunch with the group of people you just meet, you can open up so many doors to other meeting other people and finding out about other events you could love.
3. You're only searching for certain types of people
By the time we become adults we still don't know ourselves very well, but we do seem to know what type of people we enjoy being with. Most of us usually come into a new environment already have preconceptions of what type of people we want to hang out with. And we sometimes are so focused in finding those friends that act and dress just like us, or that guy that is just our "type," that we automatically disqualify anyone who doesn't fit into that category. By doing this we really undermine people's values and miss out on meeting people that are different than us but could potentially surprise us and may have a lot to offer.
4. You're letting your fears, anxieties, and insecurities get the best of you
A lot of us are afraid of rejection and may have a lot of personal insecurities about our physical appearance or even our personalities. When you combine those two, that leaves us most of the time afraid to join a different group or be the one to start a conversation with someone new. These fears and insecurities are holding you back from potentially finding your niche in the environment around you. Rejection sucks, but it's not the end of your life. Just remember that "oh well" is better than "what if."
We are all guilty of doing these from time to time, but when we're trying to make new friends we need to be extra careful to avoid doing these things. Although sometimes your social slug has nothing to do with you, the most important thing to remember is to be patient and have confidence in yourself. If you're being open minded and yourself, the right people will eventually come to you. So relax.
