My life has been filled with people getting married young and having babies. From my best friend getting married at 19 to tons of Facebook friends posting about getting engaged or that they're having a baby, it's sort of become a normal topic.
Many years ago, it was normal for women to settle down early and support the man that they chose to be with for the rest of their life. Mainstream society has taken a huge shift. Women who get married young are usually seen as old-fashioned, anti-feminist, super religious and ultimately destined for divorce—sometimes all of the above. There are negatives to getting married young, but ultimately it's about doing what you want to do and living your life the way that you want to. It's not all bad decisions and dead ends.
1. You grow up together.
You grow up together because of each other. You'll get to witness how you and your spouse change and grow in your love for each other. You get to mold and shape each other as time goes on. You'll get to struggle for money together and learn to appreciate the small things together. It's important that you know each other before taking that huge step, but it's also important that you be able to grow in your relationship. Getting married young will allow for that growth.
2. You learn the hard lessons sooner rather than later.
One word comes to mind when I think of hardships someone may face in marriage: money. In your early 20s, it's most likely that you won't have a lot of money. Getting married in your early 20s will allow you both to potentially struggle through that time and learn to appreciate the important things in life because you don't have a lot of money. When you start out with nothing, it's easier to appreciate the things you have, like a husband or a wife. You'll learn to compromise on life's biggest challenges being hand in hand. It's not easy having to make decisions that affect more than just yourself, but you'll learn to do so quicker if you already have that other person to care for. You'll end up getting some of the big arguments out of the way earlier rather than later because they'll inevitably come up. With arguments come making up, and you'll learn how to apologize and make up early in your marriage.
3. You get to share every important milestone and achievement.
People who wait to get married in their late 20s or 30s don't get the chance to share some important milestones with their spouse. If you and your new husband or wife were high school sweethearts, you got to experience high school graduation together, which is a huge milestone for some. You may also get to experience college graduation together and becoming "real" adults together. You'll get to experience getting that first big job together just out of college. Even if it's part time or if it's not exactly what you wanted, your spouse will be there to support you through that amazing and slightly scary milestone. Maybe you're looking to start a family at a young age. Your body is going to be better equipped to handle childbirth. You'll get to share the moment of the birth of your son or daughter with your spouse. Going back to the point of growing in your relationship, sharing these milestones together will allow you to grow in your relationship and in your love for each other.
4. You have crazy memories that only the two of you have together.
Maybe you and your new spouse were high school sweethearts. You'll get to have some amazing memories of going to prom together, dancing the night away. If you went to college together, you might have memories of going to parties and walking home late at night, hand in hand. You'll remember those long nights in the library studying for finals or midterms. Maybe you snuck out of your house in the middle of the night just to see each other—you'll always have that memory together. You'll remember how your spouse asked you to prom. Those memories can be the foundation of a friendship and an eventual relationship and marriage. You'll also get to share memories together later in your life. The day you graduated college, the day you got that phone call about getting a job, maybe it's just a special night out at dinner or a movie. Those memories are some that only the two of you will get to share and getting married at a young age allows the two of you to make even more crazy memories together.
5. You'll be happier, apparently.
Studies have shown that people who get married at a younger age are more happy than those who choose to wait until later in life. According to the National Marriage Project's 2013 report, the most satisfied 20-somethings (between 20 and 28 years old) are married as opposed to being single. Those who reported that they were "highly satisfied" in their marriage tied the knot between 24 and 26 years old. It's also more likely that you'll have an intact marriage if you get married between ages 22 and 25. One important key to marriage is being happy and if studies show that you'll be happier if you get married younger, then maybe it isn't so bad if you choose to get married in your late teens or early 20s.
The average age for Americans getting married has risen to 27 for women and 29 for men—a huge jump from 1990, when the average age was 23 for women and 26 for men. The average ages in the 1960s were 20 and 22! My grandparents have been happily married for 60 years and their marriage is still strong. If people in the 1960s were able to get married at such a young age, then why is it such a taboo subject in today's society?
I'm not arguing that marrying young is the way to go, nor am I saying that if you're single, you have to rush out and find someone. Like any argument, there are pros and cons to each approach and a person's life cycle is going to affect the path that someone takes. Although a large part of getting married is being happy with the person you're with, it's also about knowing that you've made the right choice in your partner. The bottom line is, if you're happy in your relationship and you want to get married, why wait? There's certainly no rush to get to the alter, but if you're ready, go for it! It's your life and it's important that you do what's best for you and your future spouse, not what's best for anyone else.
