I know what you’re thinking—“This girl is on crack, da hell do I want to thank him for?” Trust me, I had my fair share of (trying) to hate him. It does me no good, and it won't do you any good, either. Y’all spent a lot of time together, got to figure out likes, dislikes, what makes you both happy, what completely drives you both insane. You figured out that when he is telling a lie his nostrils flare, and how his eyes light up when he talks about something he loves. He knows that you bite your nails and stare at the ground when you’re nervous, and the look in your eyes when you’re not okay. You know each other because you wanted to know each other. At one point, you both were exactly what each other wanted. It’s a waste of time regretting the time you spent together because it happened and there’s nothing you can do to change it. In all honesty, you shouldn’t regret it at all. There are many things you both taught each other, and no, you haven’t thanked him for it, and I’m not saying text him after your last class to do so, but if you truly think about it, you both did a lot for each other.
- Thank him for showing you something real; I mean sure, he can thank you for this too, but of course it’s different with a girl. You were scared sh**less the first time you were getting ready in your room waiting for him to pick you up. It was the good kind of scared. The first fight you ever got into, you were probably mad as fire. It was the good kind of mad. All the feelings you felt with him or about him were real. You’ll never forget how it made you feel, and you’ll never forget the butterflies you got when you saw him; but why would you want to forget? Now the next time you get them for someone else, you won’t think you’re dying, you’ll just know you might have a tiny crush.
- Thank him for making you realize what you deserve; whether he gave you what you deserve or not, you now know. Sure, I’m slightly a diva who likes doors being opened for me, but damn right, because I deserve that. Tell me I’m pretty while you’re at it. That’s not all I’m going for. It’s the little things, like him holding your mirror while you apply lipstick for a cheer competition and not getting pissed when a picture of it gets uploaded to Facebook. I know he low-key loved it, though. I knew I deserved to be treated with kindness and so did he. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way. You may have been (as cliché as it should) pretty blinded because you loved him so much, but you were actually drowning while trying to be his anchor. There are one-sided relationships. You give and give and give, and he takes and takes and takes. By doing that, he unknowingly just helped you realize how much better you deserve to be treated, so thank him for it.
- Thank him for the good times; he was there for you, constantly, even when you were too stubborn to admit that you wanted him to be. He was always there, your shoulder to cry on, and always made you smile when you needed it. Thank him for the time you were upset with your parents, and he drove over, you snuck outside, and sat in his car talking for an hour until you felt better. Thank him for all the times he made you laugh until your stomach felt like it was coming out of your butt. As much as you sometimes hate to admit it, he was awesome.
- Thank him for respecting you enough to let you go; whether he broke up with you, you broke up with him, or it was mutual, you were let go. Whether or not you both liked it, it still happened. You both no longer served each other in the way you both thought was necessary, which is fine because people change and breakups happen. You both should have the respect for each other to know that their awesomeness could make someone else really happy. No one can take away what you guys had, and you don’t have to worry about him forgetting because he won’t. Yes, a lot of history is there so you don’t have to pretend like nothing happened.
Maybe you guys will meet again, when you are better for each other but for right now, it's happened for a reason. Breakups suck, but blaming one person for it is stupid. Which brings me to my next point: blaming yourself isn't best either. It's easy to do so, because I spent months wondering what I did wrong, but think of it as a live and learn. Experience is the most brutal teacher, but it does teach you. Don't blame him for it either, or spend time hating him. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy. So by hating him you’re just fooling yourself, not anyone else. Don’t be ashamed to say you loved your relationship and you were heartbroken when it ended, because your relationship was awesome and it’s sad losing someone. It was a rough draft, which means you both got each other one-step closer to the final copy. You should be thankful for that.
So, I thank you. I thank you for my first kiss, sneaking me off campus in high school, always being front row to see me cheer, not killing me when I almost hit a deer with your car, wiping away my tears, and making me giggle. I thank you for the time we had, which taught me a lot; I thank you for our breakup, which taught me even more. Who you are, is not where you’ve been, but I know how amazing of a person you truly are and how far your pretty blue eyes, smile, compassion, and drive will take you in this life. Thanks, LB; I truly mean it. XOXO