Midland, Texas is great for many reasons: birthplace of Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, most of the Bush family, it has a Taco Villa, and most importantly, it is the birthplace of yours truly. It may not seem like a spectacle or a paradise but deep down there are truly things to love about it. The following list will include a few of the reasons why I love Midland.
1. Trucks
Close your eyes and throw a rock in any direction. I bet you $50 you will hit a truck. I counted over 150 on my way to PetSmart before. And these trucks do not all look the same. I have seen many that are so low to the ground that it is a miracle that the bottom is not scraping the asphalt. One time I even witnessed a low-riding truck riding so low that when the driver had attempted to continue over a speed bump, his front bumper broke and fell off. I know just about nothing about trucks or actually any cars to be exact, but isn't there a reason why cars weren't designed to be that low? Sometimes I even think that there are more trucks than people in Midland. Hell, I think some people even forget that they own a truck. I went to the car wash once and this macho man who was right before me had paid, put his car in neutral, and let his bad boy ride on into the automatic wash. The only problem though is that he forgot he had a truck and his trunk was packed full of furniture and other smaller items. He rushed out of his truck and started throwing out things from the back all while screaming "NOOOOO!" hoping to minimize the number of things that were soon to be soaked.
2. The Mall
Yeah sure, I'll go to the mall sometimes. It's not like there's anything better to do there. The mall is a very special place with very special people to watch. By that I mean there are those who care a bit about how they look to some and there are those that go all out. I respect that. At the mall, I witnessed a lady with exactly three different sodas from 7/11 all held in one arm. This was not her first rodeo, for she was no beginner. These were all Big Gulps and these were all for herself. I watched from afar as she drank from one, took a few steps, and drank from another. Oh, what a wonderful world.
3. Trash
Here in Midland, we all love trash. We love it so much, that we cover what land there is left in it. I mean, why throw your trash in a trash can when you can throw it on the ground right next to that half-eaten burger that has been there all week? Or maybe next to that pile of used needles? Here we take pride in how awful of a human we are. Is that old Chinese food? Just throw it on the ground! It is not our fault though, they just did not teach us how to throw away trash in our public schools. Don't bother finding a trash can, Midland is a trash can!
4. The People
Oh, the people are very wonderful and also very helpful in Midland. What is more helpful than doing something yourself and learning while at it? I have also learned how to control my patience through these wonderful people. I waited in line for popcorn at the theaters once for 15 minutes. There were two people in front of me. If that does not seem long to you, literally stand straight for 15 minutes with nothing but yourself and tell me that's not too long. I think Midland's tagline should be "We'll Get it Done Tomorrow" with the speed that everyone takes to do their job. Chick-fil-A is actually the only place that does not take too long on anything. In fact, they work at ungodly speeds. Speaking of speeds, I was driving the speed limit once and one of these trucks I have mentioned before was driving really close behind me obviously mad that I was not going fast enough for him. He sped on by my left and flipped off my sister who was in the passenger seat. Man, I love these people.
5. At Least I'm Not in Odessa
If I had lived in Odessa my whole life, I doubt I would be here right now. I would probably be deciding which gang I would spend my time with, spitting dip into every empty open water bottle I see, drinking however much I wanted, and riding my sweet low-riding truck back to work at some automobile shop. I'd be robbing convenient stores by day, hanging with the boys by night. It would be a miracle if I made it past 30 and "the boys" wouldn't be who they used to be at that point. The years would have done some damage to us. Big G would still be in prison, Pretty Boy and Ghost would be 6 feet under the ground, Trigger Mike would still be dealing drugs, but at least Smiles would have moved on. He would have left us all and gone to one of them "smart schools." My life would not be the way it was. So hey, Midland's alright.
