Players, f**kboys, Boy-toys, Tinder matches who only want to Netflix-and-chill. They're like the sketchy-gas-station-junk-food of love affairs. They don't even deserve to fall into that category at all, really.
I think many—if not most—of us have the common sense to know why you shouldn't settle for their childish B.S., and even if you're going through a "life is short, let's just have fun" phase, do you really need the drama and immaturity? Do you really need (or want) to be treated like something disposable?
Have you gotten to your breaking point yet?
Maybe you haven't experienced anything better. Maybe you don't really know.
Maybe somewhere in your unconscious mind, you're looking for a sign to give them up... Well, this is it. Hear me out and get ready to tell him, boy, bye.
1. They may be a temporary quick-fix to loneliness, but in the end, you'll still feel alone.
I don't think I need to elaborate here. If you don't feel this way yet, you probably will eventually.
2. It gradually wears down your self-esteem.
Most will get bored of you and move on—(of course, in my experience, they usually come crawling back eventually. They'll start talking to you again whenever it's convenient for them).
Still, this repeated rejection over time wears you down. And it's not just a rejection of a part of you, like something you've done or written or created, and it's not even a rejection of your body or what you look like. It's simply... a rejection of you.
It's easy to feel like you aren't worth keeping. Like you're some kind of defective person, and you wonder if you should just resign yourself to being a hermit in the mountains somewhere, watching the world from afar. Maybe you're just not compatible with other humans. You're dull, unlikable.
It's not true.
I've gone there so many times in my mind, but in end I have to believe that I'm worthwhile in some way, shape, or form. At least for someone. For the person or people who'll give me the time of day (and know a good thing when they see it. Ha).
Sure, not everyone's going to like you. But players (a.k.a. f**kboys) certainly aren't worth hating yourself over.
3. Men > boys.
They're just kids, honestly. And I don't know about you, but I'm not terribly interested in kids anymore. I want someone mature enough to give me a chance, to look beyond what others may see.
Nowadays, I want to hold someone's hand and actually like it. I want to talk on the phone and have a decent conversation. I want to wrap my arms around someone, and just stay like that for awhile.
And it's so refreshing to actually be treated nicely, isn't it?
I don't mean to bash the millennial generation or other people's love/sex lives, or even hook-up culture—because it's 2017, not 1950. And I understand just wanting to "live life and have fun" without looking for a serious relationship, but find yourself someone who at least respects you. Someone who treats you like an actual friend.
I suppose there have been f**kboys in every generation throughout history, but our generation (millennials) seems especially saturated with them. I'd like to blame this on technology, how accessible we all are, and yet how easy it can be to block someone, avoid them, and disappear from their life entirely. But it's probably the result of other factors, too, like the evolution of social norms over time.
Regardless... they're called f**kboys for a reason.
4. There are people out there who will actually value you for who you are, and listen to what you say.
Go find them.
Sure, physical intimacy transcends language, and that's nice, but have you ever noticed how some f**kboys never ask you anything in return? You're the only one asking them questions about who they are and what they like? And then you end up talking about basketball and their favorite players for two hours? You ever been there? Yeah...
And at a certain point, it starts to feel like no one ever listens to you. None of them ever really listen to a single word you say.
Sometimes, all I'd like is for someone to pretend to give a shit. Just pretend. Humor me. Is that too much to ask?
No, I don't think it is.
So ladies and gentlemen, if you do anything for yourself in 2018, raise your standards and move on.
