If you're big Parks & Rec fan, then you probably have seen the breakfast-loving, wood-carving, nature-admiring, and no-crap-giving bearded legend that is Ron Swanson. But, have you ever wondered what Ron Swanson would be like in his prime and as a college roommate? I know you may think he is that weirdo who will make want you want to room switch after the first week; however, there are many reasons as to why Ronald Ulysses Swanson could be the best roommate anyone can ask for.
1. He's a breakfast lover
If you hate the undercooked eggs or half decent pancakes from the dining hall, they you'll come to love and always receive "all the bacon and all the eggs" from the breakfast man himself. He might take you to one of the diners outside of campus, but if he deems the food and the service poor, then he'll just cook some bacon and eggs outside the dorm, which is probably the better choice.
2. He's is a nature lover
The nature around you is something that no one should ever ignore and always behold. But, whether it's viewing the clear lakes, the colorful leaves or the majestic wildlife, nature watching is even better with the nature guy himself. Swanson would take you to his self-built cabin in the deep woods, and teach you how to hunt the quickest of deer, catch the biggest Marlins, and hike in the real woods with the most stunning of views. If you're a nature person, then look no further than Ron Swanson.
3) He's a wood carver
If you're in need of a new chair, desk, lamp or any type of furniture, then Swanson would be the perfect man for the job. Ron could carve anything out of wood and make sure that the furniture he presents is of the highest quality. He might teach you his woodworking ways, if he thinks you're ready to take on real woodworking and not the stupid woodworking class you take in in high school.
4) He's a jazz player
Do you want a night full of some high quality jazz music? Ron is your guy. At night, he transforms himself into the serenading jazz saxophonist Duke Silver. However, he might not open up to you about his secret identity, and you might need to gain the highest level of trust with him, or just go to see him perform with his jazz band "The Duke Silver Trio" every second Thursday of every month at Cozy's Bar in snotty Eagleton, Indiana.
5) He's is a meat cooker
Want some well-cooked assortment of meats? Ron Swanson will take care of you. He'll give you only the best of meats and focus on both quality and quantity. If the quantity of the meats is too much for your stomach to handle, then he might look down on you, or he might look be proud that you tried to aspire to be close to great Swanson.
6) He's a Great friend
If you were ever so lucky as to have Ron Swanson as your roommate, not only would you have a man treat you to so many wonders, but you would also have a great friend who would make you smile on your crappiest days. If you were to follow his own "Pyramid of Greatness," then he would always be the best roommate any college kid could ask for. If you were to sing 'Bye bye Lil' Sebastian," you would probably gain his full respect and love.
