I can admit, I was the kind of kid who's been dreaming up their wedding since kindergarten. I've had my wedding dress designed since I was eight, my color scheme solidified by the time I was twelve, and my Pinterest is full of wedding decor, food, and themes. No, I'm not embarrassed about it! The only thing I'm missing at my ripe age of 19 is my other half. Between my mother, exes, and some opinionated friends, I've been given some pretty ridiculous reasons as to why no one will ever want to say 'I do' to me. I mean.. .they are ridiculous... right?..
Stupid Reason #1: I'll be drowning in debt by the time I graduate!
Elizabeth Richards
I've actually been told by 2 people, who were once very close to me, that no one will become my life-long hubby due to the fact that attending NYU equals large amounts of debt—at least for me. Although having debt will inevitably bring about many struggles in the future, I doubt choosing a mate will be one one of them. Plus, lots of people have debt! It is a thing! However, I don't expect my future man to help me pay it back because, you know, it's my responsibility! What makes anyone think I'd be interested in a person who is shallow enough to look down on someone improving their life even if that involves government assistance? NEXT!
Stupid Reason #2: I have tattoos!
Nathan Gilwit
Dear family,
I know you grew up in a different time—a time when tattoos were illegal and equated, well, whatever they equated to back then. Sorry, but I love them! And I plan on covering my back with them because that's just what I want to do. I find it hard to believe that someone willing to marry me—for God knows what reasons—would call it off only because I have tattoos. If it's between me as a person and what I put on my body, I'm laying my bets on the first reason. But again, what makes you think I'd be interested in someone who turns his yuppie nose up at how I want to treat my body? NOPE!
Stupid Reason #3: I won't be a "good" mother/wife!
Anne-Marie McLaughlin
Ah yes, here is me trying to be a cool aunt and take a cute picture with my awesome nephew, which did not turn out as expected. Anyone who knows me knows that I try to cook, be tidy, and be good with kiddos, but it's just not my expertise. However, I reject the opinion that women need to be responsible for 'traditional wifely duties', such as cooking, cleaning, and being natural mothers. So, to the women in my life who have told me I'm going to be a terrible wife based on the fact that I can't be a 'traditional' one, I hope my future husband doesn't expect me to be anything but the woman I try to be—a woman I'm proud of. The first man that expects me to do anything 'wifely' without actual mutual discussion, will be immediately cancelled. YA HEARD!
STUPID Reason #4: I want a career!
Emily Ostlander
Where I come from, the norm is to go to state school, get engaged by your junior year of college, start popping out kids by the time you're 23, and buy a house in the same neighborhood you grew up in. Although I don't discredit anyone choosing this kind of path, I took a different route. To each her own, you know? I want a career (catch me at my dream NYC publishing house making movie deals for the next Call Me By Your Name or something). I want to live in this beautiful city 2000 miles away from home. I want to build a family whenever I'm ready for such a commitment. I don't understand why people still believe one can't be both a successful woman and a wife/mother. I know, though, that the man I choose to finally settle down with won't expect me to do anything less than what I want to do. WORD!
Stupid Reason #5: I don't wear makeup!
Emily Ostlander
I guess, my mom is the one who insists on this reason the most... But yes, I don't wear makeup although I have some acne! No, I don't care! I don't wear makeup because I don't like it and don't feel like covering up my acne. Multiple times, I've been told that no one will take a second look at me when choosing a bride unless I start trying to make myself look 'pretty', 'feminine' and look like I 'care'. But again, I wish on every shooting star, that the man I fall for won't care if I don't wear makeup every day because (prepare for an overused cliché) he cares more about how I look on the inside, which is a whole lot of crazy, beautiful, and fun! YEET!
Stupid-ish Reason #6: I'm too romantic!
Anne-Marie McLaughlin
As I said in the beginning, I'm the kind of person who's had their wedding planned since I was a kid. Blame the countless books I've read, movies I've watched, and stories I've wrote but is that so bad? What's wrong with having high expectations of a married life? What if I imagine waking up every Saturday and making banana pancakes with our favorite music playing out loud, and never, ever getting tired of one another? If being a romantic gives me high expectations of my future lover than I'm okay with that. It's better than settling for something that doesn't satisfy what I imagine. And I have no choice but to find Mr. Darcy to my Elizabeth because I am bewitched by romanticism and I don't see that changing. PROUD!
Stupid Reason #7: I drink a lot of Apple Cider Vinegar!
Anne-Marie McLaughlin
To my sister, I know apple cider vinegar is disgusting, and its smell travels far. But I can't stress enough just how good it is for you! I've been drinking and applying apple cider vinegar to my face for years now and I've gotten a lot of hate for it from people that live with me or have to share a bathroom with me. But you gotta do what you gotta do, you know? Out of all the reasons so far, I can kind of see this one being a deal breaker, though. Maybe I'll just have to get my future man hooked on it, too. YUM!
VERY STUPID Reason #8: I'll always put my brother first!
Anne-Marie McLaughlin
Believe it or not, one person had the nerve to tell me that putting my special needs brother at the top of my priorities list will prevents me from getting married. Needless to say, that boy wasn't my Prince Charming, and things between us didn't last long after this little remark. I'm going to need someone that loves my brother as much as I do and is wiling to put him on the top of his priorities list, as well. My brother has taught me more about love and life than anyone else has. So it's only right for the person I choose to marry to take the time to learn what I have learned. My life is never going to be just mine: I will live every day with the intention of taking care of my brother. If that's a deal breaker to someone, then that's just that. MHM!
(Not That) Stupid Reason #9: I'm scared...
Anne-Marie McLaughlin
Ever since I was a kid, I've been known as the 'scared cat' of the family, which might be the only real reason why marriage will be a struggle to me. I have so much self-doubt and anxiety that whenever I'm in a relationship, I'm constantly questioning my partner's motives, love, and our future. It's annoying for me and for the other person, but I don't think it's something I'll ever be able to grow out of. I have so many expectations of my future, especially when it comes to creating a family. That's because I want what I've never been exposed to before: a perfect, loving family and a perfect, loving husband. It may seem stupid but having a successful marriage is so important to me that it might even be my fatal marital flaw.
At the end of the day, I know that student debt, tattoos, my unhealthy love for apple cider vinegar, and more 'flaws' won't be the reasons why I won't have the dream wedding and marriage that I desire—hate to break it for ya Mom. However, I'm starting to rethink my overall fright- and anxiety-induced approach to relationships because I know I'll only be damaging myself. For now, though, I'm going to keep holding onto my hopes and dreams, which include a spring wedding... with food trucks... my personal playlist of jams... a giant cake... a thousand yellow roses... and the list goes on.
