Breasts.
Melons.
Tatas.
Boobs.
It doesn't matter what you call them. What matters is how big or little they are.
Almost every girl I know has a bone to pick with her breasts. They're either too little to jiggle, or too massive to lug around. A select group of women (we shall call them The Blessed B's) fall somewhere in the middle—but even they can have self-esteem issues related to their breasts.
For those of us who are steadily moving our way down the alphabet in cup size (C-D-DD-E-F-FF), our breasts can present a major problem when it comes to... well, just about everything. Here's why having big boobs is the worst:
1. Boob sweat
There's a difference between sweat on your chest and boob sweat. One is bearable; the other is the ickiest feeling known to woman.
2. Developing breasts before your friends and feeling singled out
If you have bigger-than-average breasts now, chances are you started developing them at a younger age than most. Carrying around proof of puberty on your chest can be very not fun for some; the undue attention that breasts attract can be downright unbearable for others.
3. Going up stairs (or, exercise of any kind)
Good luck running up those stairs without nearly hitting yourself in the face. You've practically got to strap those puppies down to do jumping jacks, or jump rope, or jogging (or any of the other 'j' exercises).
4. Finding bras (ex. Day-to-Day, Sports Bras, Bralettes)
Good luck finding a bra that fits, gives adequate support, and looks cute. Most bras that cater to larger breasts have enormous straps and are hella expensive. Oh, and forget about bralettes—if they even come in your size, they don't have any type of support.5. The feeling of your breasts lying on your stomach
6. Back/spinal issues
All of that weight puts a strain on your back, and no one is trying to develop scolioses.
7. The Sag™.
Bigger breast = more weight = sagginess. We can't compete. It's physics.
(P.S. I apologize for that gif, but I just had to use it. Forgive me.)
8. Can't sleep on your stomach
Well, you can. But don't you want to be comfortable?
9. People attempting to comfort you by saying there are plenty of "breast men"
Is my suffering lessened in any way because there's a man out there who might derive pleasure from the largeness of my breasts? No. So miss me with that bullshit.
