One of the perks (and one of my favorite things) about going to a small private Christian college is the fact that you get to talk about your faith in class. Like Thursday we got to watch a video called "Jesus is Loving Barrabas".

This video changed my perspective on this hate inspiring person in history. I don't think I've met a Christian or even a person who would say that Barabbas deserves what he got: a clean slate. I think part of me has always resented that murderer, that thief, that loathsome person who got set free. I never realized that this person...was me.

The parallels between myself and Barabbas are definitely few and far between, but didn't Jesus himself say "He whose hands are clean may cast the first stone," or something to that effect. My sins are no greater than his and to that effect I am no worse or better of a person than he is.

I have struggled for a couple of years now with holding grudges and harboring hate in my heart and it's hard to realize that other people deserve forgiveness. That they deserve love. That they deserve another chance. Jesus said, "Yes, let Barabbas go." Of course, I never put much thought into that statement. That acceptance.

This video showed me that I can't expect to carry everything myself. Yes, I will make mistakes, but that doesn't mean I need to hold onto them. I need to come to the realization that I was not meant to hold onto some things for so long. They are meant to be let go.

I am not perfect and perfection isn't expected from me.

This is one statement I have struggled with since middle school. I was told I have the "perfect" life. Perfect grades. Perfect family. Perfect, perfect, perfect. And with that word came this stigma that I had to be flawless on my own.

I came to the realization a while ago that my state of imperfection is what makes me unique. I embrace my faults and flaws and ugly parts of myself as I try to get better. I still struggle and strive to push past the hate I have for one person and still push myself out of the bed some mornings because I have no drive and won't put forth my best effort.

With Christ on my side, I don't have to be perfect. When I go, I want the cuts to show. I want to see the struggle of life and the fact that I'm not flawless. I am vain, prideful, spiteful, and vindictive. I have my demons that I fight everyday, just like Barabbas. I recognize the fact that I am no better than he was.

Through Christ, I can struggle to be a better person and give him my burdens. It takes a lot, at least for me, to say that I need help. I am not a humble person and it's hard admitting that I can't bear the weight of my demons.

We all need that "Let him go and take me instead," freedom Jesus gave Barabbas us.