Doing Nothing

Doing Nothing Helped Me Realize I Am Complete

It's easy to get so busy doing everything to satisfy or fix ourselves, but what if we don't need to fix ourselves?

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The last few weeks have been crazy traveling for a family vacation in Virginia then immediately after, flying to New Hampshire for my graduation. In that time, however, I had some much-needed relaxation.

With nothing to do in Virginia, but eat, rest, and enjoy the hot tub, my husband and I found ourselves passing the time by lying on our backs and watching the clouds float by, or the sky grow dark at dusk. Have you ever done that? Watch the sky get dark? I know I haven't done it much in my life, but it was amazing. Often, we are so distracted by social media, technology, and the busyness of life that we don't notice the miracles of the world moving and changing and all the life happening around us.

These moments made us realize how busy and selfish we often are, so busy trying to improve ourselves through work or dieting or spirituality or any variety of things. So many things that we do, if you look closely enough, we aren't doing them for simple enjoyment, but to get something, to get a sense of fulfillment out of them because we feel empty inside. We become desperate to fill this perceived emptiness in any way we can.

Watching the clouds, we felt nothing but peace and satisfaction that we had never found in our desperate attempts to improve, fix, or save ourselves. What we felt was completion at having done nothing. It can be hard to believe that we could be complete without having to do anything to attain it, but it's true. The whole mindset of trying to fix or satisfy ourselves just enforces the idea that we lack something, that we aren't good enough or complete or amazing right now.

What if we were to just give up trying to fix ourselves? Well, that's what my husband and I did for a week. We rested, knowing that we are complete as we are right now. For us, that was a huge realization. We grew up as very religious Christians doing everything we could to be faithful and perfect, so we could be close to God and loved. But what if we are loved and as close to the divine as we could ever be right now?

It changes everything, no more trying to fix or save ourselves, no more self-hate, no more judging ourselves, and so no more judging others. All that's left is love. In not constantly trying to save ourselves suddenly, we found we were free to love one another and notice the world around us more. When we try to save ourselves, it's easy to become blind to those around us.

This is why I love nature. It always brings us back to perspective, taking our eyes off our problems onto the beauty that's everywhere around us. And we are a part of it, this beautiful world, and we are whole and complete through and through lacking nothing. So, lie down for a moment and rest as you watch the clouds float by and the wind blow through the leaves, and the sun and stars travel across the sky, knowing that you are whole and complete, lacking nothing.

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To The Grandmothers Who Made Us The Women We Are Today

Sincerely, the loving granddaughters.
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The relationship between a grandmother and her granddaughter is something so uniquely special and something to be treasured forever.

Your grandma loves you like you are her own daughter and adores you no matter what. She is the first person you run to when you have a problem with your parents and she never fails to grace you with the most comforting advice.

She may be guilty of spoiling you rotten but still makes sure to stress the importance of being thankful and kind.

Your grandma has most likely lived through every obstacle that you are experiencing now as a young adult and always knows just exactly what to say.

She grew up in another generation where things were probably much harder for young women than they are today.

She is a walking example of perseverance, strength, and grace who you aim to be like someday.

Your grandma teaches you the lessons she had to learn the hard way because she does not want you to make the same mistakes she did when she was growing up.

Her hugs never fail to warm your heart, her smile never fails to make you smile, and her laugh never fails to brighten your day.

She inspires you to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

You only hope that one day you can be the mother and grandmother she was to you.

A piece of girl’s heart will forever belong to her grandma that no one could ever replace.

She is the matriarch of your family and is the glue that holds you all together.

Grandmothers play such an important role in helping their granddaughters to grow into strong, intelligent, kind women.

She teaches you how to love and how to forgive.

Without the unconditional love of your grandma, you would not be the woman you are today.

To all of the grandmothers out there, thank you for being you.

Sincerely,

the loving granddaughters

Cover Image Credit: Carlie Konuch

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Poetry On The Odyssey: You Don't Control Me

If I could speak to my anxiety, here is what I'd say.

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Anxiety,

You have controlled my life for way too long.

My constant fears hold me back from so many things I want to be able to do.

Your presence makes me a person I don't want to be.

You make me feel scared and alone when I know that I am not alone.

You don't control me.

I am not free to be myself when you are around.

There is no use for you, and you should be ashamed for making me feel sick, nervous, fearful, not good enough.

You have been a little monster, harboring inside of me for my whole life.

Whispering "You can't do that" in my ear when I dare to get out of my comfort zone.

You don't control me.

I am fully capable of doing great things and living without you.

I have a wonderful support system of people who believe in me and help me crush you every day as you deserve.

I will be brave, be bold, enjoy life more.

This is me saying "Sayonara Anxiety."

You don't control me.

I am going to take my life back from your filthy grip.

I am going to live the life I've dreamt of.

I am going to be adventurous and take risks.

I am going to be myself.

You don't control me.


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