The last few weeks have been crazy traveling for a family vacation in Virginia then immediately after, flying to New Hampshire for my graduation. In that time, however, I had some much-needed relaxation.
With nothing to do in Virginia, but eat, rest, and enjoy the hot tub, my husband and I found ourselves passing the time by lying on our backs and watching the clouds float by, or the sky grow dark at dusk. Have you ever done that? Watch the sky get dark? I know I haven't done it much in my life, but it was amazing. Often, we are so distracted by social media, technology, and the busyness of life that we don't notice the miracles of the world moving and changing and all the life happening around us.
These moments made us realize how busy and selfish we often are, so busy trying to improve ourselves through work or dieting or spirituality or any variety of things. So many things that we do, if you look closely enough, we aren't doing them for simple enjoyment, but to get something, to get a sense of fulfillment out of them because we feel empty inside. We become desperate to fill this perceived emptiness in any way we can.
Watching the clouds, we felt nothing but peace and satisfaction that we had never found in our desperate attempts to improve, fix, or save ourselves. What we felt was completion at having done nothing. It can be hard to believe that we could be complete without having to do anything to attain it, but it's true. The whole mindset of trying to fix or satisfy ourselves just enforces the idea that we lack something, that we aren't good enough or complete or amazing right now.
What if we were to just give up trying to fix ourselves? Well, that's what my husband and I did for a week. We rested, knowing that we are complete as we are right now. For us, that was a huge realization. We grew up as very religious Christians doing everything we could to be faithful and perfect, so we could be close to God and loved. But what if we are loved and as close to the divine as we could ever be right now?
It changes everything, no more trying to fix or save ourselves, no more self-hate, no more judging ourselves, and so no more judging others. All that's left is love. In not constantly trying to save ourselves suddenly, we found we were free to love one another and notice the world around us more. When we try to save ourselves, it's easy to become blind to those around us.
This is why I love nature. It always brings us back to perspective, taking our eyes off our problems onto the beauty that's everywhere around us. And we are a part of it, this beautiful world, and we are whole and complete through and through lacking nothing. So, lie down for a moment and rest as you watch the clouds float by and the wind blow through the leaves, and the sun and stars travel across the sky, knowing that you are whole and complete, lacking nothing.
