Towards the end of my eighteen years, I feel like I know myself better.
I understand that I don't need approval from other people. I know that I have to be patient and wait for everything to fall into place because everything improves with time. I now know how important it is to say "no" to others for my happiness and personal growth. I have to know that being alone doesn't mean that I am lonely, but having to rely on myself at times is essential. I know that my feelings can get crowded and sometimes it can confuse me.
However, I know that I am human, and I am not perfect, being confused is normal. Worrying about the things beyond my control would only hurt me.
I understand the power of words, and how it could affect someone so tremendously. It could make someone feel loved, sad, unworthy, powerful, or another type of emotion.
An Indonesian proverb says: "Your mouth is your tiger," which means to think before you speak. It's easy to throw rocks into the sea, but you never know how deep that rock will go; be careful. Put yourselves in their shoes. What would the actions or words make you feel?
Your actions toward other people speak highly of who you are as a person and vice versa.
I know I can't control someone's feeling towards me or the way they should treat me, but I can control my feelings. I believe that I can control the way I act on my emotions. If someone made you feel like you are less, leave. Sometimes people are like rain, and it is a bright day when they are gone.
Trust your intuition. Do what makes you content. If you're going to do something risky and your gut is telling you to do so, just do it. I would rather know how it feels like rather than guess how it should feel. If you want to tell someone you miss them when you are not supposed to, do it.
Because that's the last thing your heart wants to do. Take the risk that won't leave you guessing anymore.
I am important, and I am worthy of love.
I am strong. I am strong because I know I will pass this hard journey, and I will make it. I want to focus on myself. I am not hard to love. I will value myself.I acknowledge that I am not perfect. I am human, but I know that I am strong because part of growing up is not always simple. Love yourself and practice self-love.
Help yourself, get up, move forward, be involved in activities that you are curious and fascinated about.
Be someone who's kind and whose mouth is always telling the truth, and thus, you will find people that have the same energy as you.
You have to know that you are not always the problem. Nonetheless, if someone told you that you were the problem, ask yourself if there's truth to it and assess what you have done wrong and find ways you could have done differently; learn and be better. Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't let anyone's assumption about you define you.
Understand that you are not perfect and nobody is perfect. I am still working to be the best version of myself. My goal is to give myself an unstoppable love by taking care of myself. Not because I should, or I have to, but because I can and I will. What is stopping you?
To my nineteen years old self: I am my own home, and I will take care of it.