What is it like to settle down when you are still in college?
About 2193 days ago, I had my first kiss with the person I knew I would spend the rest of my life with. It sounds very dramatic that two twelve-year-olds shared a kiss and thought that they would end up getting married, but it’s true. Fast-forward six years, and we are still together and stronger than ever. We have been through unimaginably stressful times but we have also traveled the world together. He is my best friend and definitely the person that I’ll be with for the rest of my life. He is the one person who can get me on an adventure.
I’m only 18 and I have settled down already. I’m perfectly fine with it, but people always have something to say about it. There is always a harsh reality for couples that settle down at a young age, especially when they both are still in college. There are a few lessons that I’ve learned throughout the years of being in a serious relationship, and a lot of them I learned when people found out that I was going into college while still in a serious relationship. Here are a few of the lessons I’ve learned over the years:
People are shocked that you don't party or go out.
To a lot of people, college is a time to party and make new friends but the party scene truly does not interest me. My idea of fun is getting out of class at 3 o’clock on a Friday and not having to go to work that night. I can buy a tub of ice cream and my boyfriend and I can binge watch Parks and Recreation. That is so much more appealing to me than going out to a party on a Friday night and after 6 years of staying in on my Friday nights, I’m 100% used to it and 100% fine with it.
People are always saying that you’re making a huge mistake.
A German proverb once said, “Sweep in front of your own door.” This is probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned throughout the years. People like to butt their noses in and give you their (wrong) opinion. If we felt that we were making a mistake, then we would act upon it! No one follows us around with a camera throughout our daily lives so no one truly has the perspective that we do (obviously). All you can do is try and listen to what they say, even though they aren’t and never have been in your position.
People say that college won’t be any fun.
Most people go to college for an education. I am one of the 8 million college students in America just trying to earn a degree. People genuinely get upset for me that I’m in a serious relationship my first year of college, but I don’t feel that I’m missing out on anything. Telling me that I’m going to regret being in a serious relationship later in life means nothing to me at the moment. I don’t regret what I’m doing right now so why stop something in hopes that something will change later down the line? People always stereotype what college should be, but even if I were not in a serious relationship, I would still be focused in on getting my degree.
You have older friends.
Since I live off campus, my life revolves around school and work. When I’m not at school then I’m at work and vice versa. I met my best friend when she started working with me a little over a year ago. Hailing from Perth, Australia my best friend is 46 years old and is an awesome person to be around. Whenever we have the weekend off together, we have barbecues or venture out to Rooms-to-Go in the middle of a hurricane! I honestly don’t remember the last time I had a best friend that was remotely even close to my age. Because I’m such a homebody, I don’t want to be out late and neither does my boyfriend. My boyfriend’s friends dropped off the face of the Earth when they went to an out of state college and I was so focused on schoolwork during high school that I never really made friends. Having older friends gives us another perspective on life as well as real life advice that is very applicable to our situation.
People wonder if your parents are supportive.
Believe it or not, both of our parents are completely supportive of our situation. Most people think that our parents want us to go out and live our lives, but we are living our lives…together. For every milestone like graduating high school or winning scholarships, we were there for each other. We have been each other’s biggest cheerleaders and we have never done anything rash or unreasonable, so our parents really have no reason to not support our decisions.
People wonder when you will get married.
We may have a dog and four chickens, but marriage is not something that we really talk about. People assume because we have settled down that marriage is right around the corner, but it’s not. We are probably mentally prepared for it, but why ruin what works? Six years of no huge problems means that we work really well together and we don’t need a marriage license as proof that we want to be with each other for the rest of our lives.
