The most common misconception about growing up without a father is that you get used to it, when in reality, you don't. Some people know how to hide it. They can put on a happy face and go about their life like nothing is wrong. I'm not one of those people.
I've seen male figures come and go in my life but none of them could possibly fill the hole left by not having a father. Being that I'm a male, I've always wondered what it would've been like having my dad there to teach me how to ride a bike or how to throw a football. I know that doesn't sound like much, but every boy deserves to have a father who wants to teach him something, even if it is just how not to fall off of a bicycle.
Not having a father like that was good and bad. I didn't have him to teach me these things, but I learned how to entertain myself. I became familiar with my own creativity. I got used to entertaining myself every day after school, and it became just another part of everyday life.
Everyone wants to be liked and to have friends. It has been hard for me to make friends at all, let alone be super popular. You feel as if you aren't good enough because your own father didn’t want to associate with you or be in your life. It has been extremely hard for me to trust anyone because, in the past, my father has made me feel like every good thing in life has to end. It makes you feel as if you don't deserve the good things in life because your father doesn't want you. How do you even begin to cope with that?
In my personal opinion, having a good dad makes things so much easier. Children who have two parents don't understand how much of a blessed life they were born into. I hate when people complain about their parents getting into little fights because I would give anything to hear my two parents argue. I'd rather hear them fight because that means they care about each other and that also means that they're both present.
Being able to come home and say hi to my mom and dad would've made my life so much better. Just knowing that I had two parents to teach me both sides to every issue I will ever face in life helps an immense amount when it comes to growing up and becoming an "adult." Seeing that people can work through problems in your own home helps you to prepare for your life outside of your hometown.
Learning life lessons from a mother and a father is a blessing and everyone who has that needs to understand how lucky they are. I have had more life experience as a 15-year-old than most people who have been sheltered their whole lives ever will. I have moved all over the state of Indiana and had my heart broken again and again. By no means am I saying I have had a horrible life. I have always had a roof over my head, food in my stomach and a loving mother. I have never been able to understand nor will I ever understand how people can say with a straight face that they hate their parents. Yes, you may get mad at them sometimes but you can't honestly hate the person who cares and loves you no matter what unless they have done something truly terrible to deserve that hate.
If you or anyone in your life has gone through this, you most likely feel the same way. People that have been abandoned need constant reassurance that they won't be abandoned again. They need proof of your love and a constant understanding that trust is something that isn't given out easily. Once that trust is gained, though, it'll be there forever.
Having an absentee father has been hard. Devastating at times. I've learned early in life what matters and what doesn't. I've learned to give my all in love and happiness because you never know when something bad could happen. Everyone has that one person who will understand, you just have to find them.
This week I wanted to do something a little different. Recently, one of my younger brothers asked me to publish something that has been very heavy on his heart. After I read it, I decided that it needed to be shared. Thank you for reading, even if it wasn't mine.
Cael, your piece was beautiful and I'm so proud of you.
I love you.
