As someone who was #squad mom of multiple groups in high school, I wasn't sure if the title, "Mama Dietz," would carry over to my new friend groups when I went off to college. Now, finishing up my 4th week at The University of Wyoming, I can say that inevitably, my motherly instincts over my friends have been noted, and I've been called, "Mom" on more than a few occasions. It's comforting to have this one constant when college life is forever changing. Whether you're 16 or 64, there are many realities that never go away when you are a squad mom.
1. You are designated driver.
Whether it's going out to lunch or getting everyone home on Friday night, everyone knows you're dd. And often, you ride, "soccer mom style."
2. Similarly, you're the one who tells everyone else to wear their seatbelts.
But really, why wouldn't you?
3. You say awkward things to your friends before they go out.
You're just reminding them to be safe. Why not make them uncomfortable at the same time? "Say no to peer pressure," "Don't forget: 1 in 3 people have STDs," "Make good choices," or my new favorite, "Don't end a life and don't make a life."
4. And when you do go to the party, you're the babysitter.
"Here, chug this water bottle. No, you don't need to call him. I'll take your phone for now."
5. You always have sunscreen.
Always. (@ Lakewood Tennis Team)
6. You whip everyone else into shape.
Sometimes, being solely a nurturer just doesn't get the job done.
7. You embarrass your "children" and you embrace it.
For example, you're the one wearing the yellow cape to the football game...
...Or you're wearing a trash bag...
8. Somehow, the internet starts to think you're a mom too.
Apparently my college shopping looks suspicious.
9. People who are out to get your friends are scared of you.
You have a perfected "death glare." You've got that motherly intuition and they know you're on to them. Funny how you are somehow able to instill fear into the sketchy guy with the f-boy vibe who is at least a foot taller than you. "My mom is really nice, but you don't want to be on her bad side."
10. But those who know you know that you're a warm person.
You are bringing the candy and the group hugs to the table.
11. You can't help but try to instill your morals into your friends.
You tell people what they need to hear, which is not always what they want to hear.
