*A PNM is a potential new member, and an Active is a current member of a sorority.*
*The article is intended to be a satire, and does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of real PNMs and real actives.*
Round One: Go Greek
The PNM...
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, ohhh my GOSHHH, it is TIME,” the girl beside me in line is saying. I also just found out she's gonna be next to me in line the entire day… great. As if I am not nervous enough, this girl keeps telling me that she is a “legacy” and her sister has told her not to worry about a thing. OKAY, then why is she spazzing next to me??? Wow. They are counting down. Here we go. I’m gonna throw up. I think my mouth just fell open. Why did no one tell me about this chanting and bouncing?? This girl next to me is singing along. Oh, I guess her sister told her. I’m gonna hit her. The prettiest girl I have ever seen is waving to me. I can’t make my legs move. Dear God - I hope I smiled. “Welcome to the ABC House!” She was the first person to ask my major that day, but not the last. She was the first person that played soccer in high school too, but also not the last. I have had the same conversation in 10 houses today. My cheeks hurt from smiling. The actives are all so pretty and I am sweating profusely. Whoever invented coffee filters is a genius. This is only day one. Someone help me.
The Active...
My legs are already hurting and we’ve only had one party. My voice isn’t hoarse yet, which is nice. The girls keep telling me they are sorry for sweating, so I guess they have not noticed the sweat rolling down my back from all that bouncing. ANOTHER soccer player. Oh, but this girl won state. We NEED her for our intramural team. I have got to tell the other girls, because she needs to be back here tomorrow.
Round Two: Philanthropy
The PNM...
I do not think I have enough community service hours on my resume to make it the next round in this house. All these actives are literally crying they are so passionate about their philanthropy. I do not really identify with this philanthropy… I think I am gonna cut this house. My Rho Gamma told me it’s okay if I do not like every house. I really hope she's right. WHAT am I gonna DO if the houses I like do not like me??? Okay maybe I will cry now.
The Active...
If I have to watch this philanthropy video ONE. MORE. TIME. LMBO oh wait… I have to watch it 5 more times tomorrow. I have the speech memorized by now. My last PNM was quizzing me on the facts about my chapter. I think she had made a game out of it. Good for you, PNM. The PNM before that was crying. She is gonna be the philanthropy chair where ever she ends up. I should have introduced her to ours. I’ll do it tomorrow if she makes it back.
Round Three: Sisterhood
The PNM...
Every chapter has done something different today. This is refreshing. I keep telling the actives that I am so happy to be back and I hope they believe me. I wonder if they can tell that my smile is fake. This is my favorite house, but my feet hurt so bad in these wedges. I really hope my dress is cute enough. What am I gonna do tomorrow in heels? Of COURSE my next house is the furthest from this one. The girl that is rushing me seems like she could run a marathon in her heels. She let me stand in front of the fan after the presentation. I think she may be a real life angel.
The Active...
I have not seen this presentation as many times as I watched the philanthropy video, but I still have it memorized. It is round three, and I think bouncing should be considered training for the Olympics. The PNMs I have been rushing keep looking at me like I am going to make or break their life. It’s stressing me out, but they are all even cuter when their nervous. I almost accidentally gave an oral bid to a girl I liked her so much. I really DO hope to see her tomorrow, but I can not tell her that. Ugh. If she is not back here tomorrow and goes ABC, I will DIE.
Round Four: Preference
The PNM...
I cannot stop crying. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE? I love both chapters so much. Thank GOD for my Rho Gammas or I would have died by now. I feel like I found my true home at ABC, but I do not what I am gonna say to the girl I love so much at XYZ. My Rho Gamma said it’s gonna be OK, and to tell them if they give me an “Oral Bid” — WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN! This is the most important decision of my life, and I am torn. I never thought I would say it, but I am jealous of the girl that was singing along on the first day.
The Active...
Pref is so emotional. I have cried three times today. God I love my chapter XYZ. My rush crush is back, and I am picking her up for the next party. I CANNOT let her go ABC. She just got here, and she is already crying. Oh no, she is torn between us and ABC. I FREAKING knew it. Ugh I have to tell her she belongs HERE! This is her HOME!
Lastly, BID DAY !!!
The PNM...
The Rho Gammas won’t let me open my bid card yet. DO THEY KNOW THAT I CAN NOT HANDLE THIS? Oh my gosh. I loved the girl at XYZ so much that I ended up preffing them over ABC. I hope XYZ did not cut me, because I told her I was torn. No… she would not have cut me. They loved me, too. Oh my GOSH, it is time! I open my bid card and I am the newest member of XYZ! I think I’m gonna faint. The bus ride to the house is a blur, and now I’m wearing a t-shirt they gave me and have glitter all over my face. The active I love so much is my “bid day buddy” and I think I am in heaven.
The Active...
MY RUSH CRUSH WENT XYZ! She’s my bid day buddy, which basically means she is already my little. Oh my gosh I cannot wait for her to meet my big. This is the greatest day ever. I got my little and recruitment is over. Not to mention I got a new t-shirt. I think I’m in heaven.
