Social media has taken the world by storm in the last few years. It's safe to say there are not many individuals who refrain from using websites or apps, such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, and as a result, these networks plague our everyday lives. We feel the need to post everything about our personal lives, no matter how insignificant it may be. Consequently, these apps seem to have an overwhelming impact on the lives and minds of young people, shaping perspectives of the world and aspects within our own lives. This does not exclude the portrayal of relationships, and social media's responsibility in forming new interpretations of what it means to be romantically involved. Why do we feel the need to let social media dictate our perception of romance and relationships?
Apps are basically platforms for outlining unrealistic expectations, especially in regards to relationships. The Instagram post you see of a cute couple that makes you envious, simply because you do not have this seemingly happy and perfect relationship, does not always reflect the arguments and problems of this quote-on-quote perfect couple. You just don't see what is happening on the sidelines. Much like the rest of society, these couples have the same problems and nothing sets them apart from or makes them better than anyone else. The concept of "you should never judge a book by its cover" is highly relevant to this situation, since there is no escaping complications and disagreements, no matter how content and lovey dovey a couple seems on the outside.
People learn their definitions of a relationship from what they see on social media, and inevitably compare it to their own relationships. By constantly surveying posts of flawlessly, in love couples, individuals gather this data to form their own stigmas of relationships. Oftentimes, these stigmas consist of couples who have zero to little problems, rarely arguing, and essentially avoiding any and all conflict, therefore making it seem as if these individuals are happy all of the time. Nevertheless, this stigma is an utterly inaccurate depiction of how relationships actually tend to be. Furthermore, this consequently can lead an individual, who actually has a good relationship, to ending it because it does not fulfill their stereotype of a perfect relationship that they have acquired because of social media. Continuously, this person will seek out unattainable, ideal relationships, by throwing away good ones, and therefore, find themselves to be dissatisfied because they realize that once again, their expectations could not be met. People are so caught up with their definition of a perfect relationship that they take their own good relationships for granted, and essentially do not appreciate what they have.
The concept of relationship goals does not help much in this matter, either. Relationship goals is a newer concept that establishes a widespread envious context of relationships that have been deemed perfect. Inherently, relationship goals define romance, even though there are various, differentiating translations of romance. When you don't reach this universal concept of romance, you begin to feel inadequate, almost as if your relationship no longer matters because it cannot be characterized or labeled as perfect or even acceptable. You want to be the definition of relationship goals, but along the way, you begin to forget that you are an individual and your relationship is original and should not be compared to the relationship of others. You lose sight of your good relationship because it does not reflect these unrealistic relationship goals and you begin to give up. But why give up on something that you know makes you happy just because you cannot reach this perfect context?
Just because you are not "Facebook Official" or you do not constantly post pictures with your significant other every other day, does not make you any less of a couple or less happier than the next person. Letting social media control the definition of romance or a relationship only destroys all the effort that you have put into it. Your relationship is not like any other and you should take pride in that, rather than comparing it to what you see from misleading Facebook and Instagram posts.
