I'm trying to get over a weird case of stage fright and I think that I finally found a way to help fix it:

Starting a podcast.

For the longest time, I have had issues speaking in front of large groups of people, both in formal settings and situations where I have to be more script-based (rather than just freestyling). People who know me typically see the guy who is charismatic, willing to start conversations and relatively approachable.

But what they don't know is the terror I feel when I have to speak in front of crowds. During presentations, my heart pounds out of my chest, my legs shake when I stand in place and I tend to sometimes muffle my words or even stutter. Even when it comes to class participation, I have a tendency to avoid raising my hand in classes that have a large number of students--even if I know the answer. I don't know what it is, but it's like when I look out into a crowd of people, I freeze up and get tense, abandoning my true personality as I'm forced into this little shell.

I figured a podcast would be a perfect way for me to practice speaking in front of, or at least to, a large group of people. I can imagine it now: me starting up my first recording with something super corny like, "What's up guys, it's your boy Jay with some fire topics to talk about, so let's get into it!" Obviously, I hope my intro isn't that terrible, but I just can't wait to finally give it a shot.

I've thought about creating a podcast for the longest time, but I always gave myself an excuse. "I don't really have good equipment for making a podcast", "I doubt anyone would really listen to me talk" and "What would I even talk about?" are all things I've told myself as excuses to put it off. Well, for the first time ever, I finally have answers to combat all this self-doubt.

I looked all through the Apple app store and actually found a heavily recommended app called Anchor. Anchor lets you record and upload recordings with clear audio that can easily be edited. You can even have friends call in and record the call. You can make podcasts with your friends without even having to leave the house.

I decided that I'm going to just talk about the topics that make me the happiest: 90s cartoons, anime, and sports. Those are three topics that all have different demographics of interest, which opens up a ton of possibilities regarding possible listeners/followers. I think that when I post them, I'll try to share to YouTube with some kind of cool thumbnail and then promote it through Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook.

Honestly, this is a passion of mine that I've longed for because I love pondering about my interests in my head. But it's something about sharing my views with others that just makes it so much more exciting. As much as this may seem like a cool little hobby or a nice school project, it really is more a "phobia fighter." All this built up excitement is just another way to suppress my fear so that I can enjoy myself while interacting with others. I really hope that if I step out of my comfort zone, I'll be able to beat my fear and change lives by brightening up people's mood by listening to me make jokes, use funny sound effects and talk about things that we all enjoy.