Sometimes we get the urge to reach out to our past relationships. We pick up our phones and think about how easy it would be to contact them. A tap on the green message bubble and a few clicks and we’d be golden.
Maybe it was a 3-year-long relationship. Maybe it was just an almost-relationship that you’re still not over. Or maybe it's an almost-relationship that you still hope has potential.
Whatever the case, you want to talk to him. It’s the only thing on your mind. You wholeheartedly believe that sending him a quick text will give you some sort of satisfaction. You crave the rush associated with pressing send.
Maybe you want to text him because he showed up unexpectedly on your newsfeed. You woke up, poured a cup of coffee and checked Facebook. The first thing you saw was his charming smile. His arm was slung around a girl wearing a short dress and too much eyeliner. You weren't prepared to see it, and you didn't know what to do when you did. Your stomach turned to knots. You didn’t even finish your cup of coffee.
Or maybe you’re out with friends, and you can’t get him off your mind. Between drinks, you just get the urge to let him know that you miss him. Or maybe you want to yell at him. Or maybe you just want him to know you’re hurting. Maybe you want him to come out with you. Or maybe you want to see if he's even still interested.
Or maybe you want to text him because you can't sleep. You’re lonely, and you want to stop feeling like you’re the only person in the world who’s still awake. You’re lying in bed -- and you just want to feel like someone else cares about your 2 a.m. thoughts.
But regardless of how strong the urge, no matter how badly you want to send a message, something inside you knows you shouldn’t.
You might crave the rush, or the excitement associated with his response. You don't want to listen to your gut -- you just want to send it.
But the reason you want to text him right now is probably not good enough. Maybe it’s because you’re lonely, maybe it’s because he never gave you any closure, or maybe it’s because you want to feel wanted, even for a second.
Whatever the reason, my advice to you is this: don't send it. Type it out. Tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him you hate the way he led you on. Tell him how often you cried about your breakup. Tell him how much you wish he didn't love her more than he loved you. Write all of these things. Get it all off your chest. But don't press send.
Because sending that text is going to be less fulfilling than you want it to be. It isn't going to fix your broken heart. It isn't going to make the knots in your stomach go away. It's not the magic potion that's going to bring him back or make him realize what he lost. The sadness that will come along with being ignored is not worth the few minutes of validation.
And as hard as it is to remember sometimes, you are worth more than the letter "K." You are worth more than being ignored. You deserve better.
So don't send it, okay?
