The other day, I was missing the warmth. I thought about home, and the time I spent in my old room during Winter Break. There were many things I noticed, like how it looked completely different, how I kept everything tidy and how empty it looked, almost like it hadn't been lived in for way too long. But the one thing that stood out to me the most was the absurd amount of books I had.

I know I'm not the only person who was an "avid reader" as a kid. The stuff I read was never the "right" stuff. It was Harry Potter, Charlie Bone, almost every book Sarah Dessen ever wrote, and others like them. I hadn't read The Great Gatsby till my second year of college, and while I love The Outsiders, it's only in my collection because I read it in eighth grade.

I began reading when I was nine years old. My dad had gotten me a subscription to the National Geographic Kids magazine, and one of the first issues I received had a contest where the prize was cool spy-type gadgets. I thought it was cool, it didn't seem hard, and we didn't read the fine print. The contest simply required an adult to catch you reading and then you could sign up to win. I tried to convince my dad to let me read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban since it was my favorite movie, but he convinced me I needed to start from the beginning. So in May of 2006, I began reader Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

It was the first book I ever read, and I finished it in three weeks. I was fascinated. I wanted more. It was summer vacation, and I would sit in this recliner in my grandparent's house and read for hours. I finished Book Five the day after school started up and worked my way through Book Six during the semester, though I can't remember how long it took me.

This was the time where mall trips became less about clothes and more about books. I would walk into Border's (RIP) and walk out with three new additions to my collection, and come back a few weeks later. When Deathly Hallows finally came out, I finished it in eight days.

In school, I gained a reputation for being the girl who was always reading. It didn't matter that other girls also read books, because I was the first one. During our lunch break, I was most likely found in a corner with a book than playing with other kids, and this trend continued until junior year of high school, when I needed the time to study or catch up on homework or carry out other extracurricular responsibilities.

This was also around the time I started reading Fan Fiction. (Yeah, we all did that, don't judge me.) Suddenly, I was getting more and more books but I found no time to read them.

Of course, there are books I've read since then, like Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl. I keep that particular one with me in college, in case I need a pick me up.

Reading got me through a time in my life where I didn't know who I was, and it gave me something to do and someone to be.

So why don't I do it anymore?

I honestly think it has something to do with the absurd amount of reading I've had to do for my college classes, since I always end up taking classes that are incredibly reading-intensive. Granted, that comes with being a Theatre and English double major, but still. I haven't read a book for fun in a long time.

And I have books I want to read, I do. I think the fact that reading is something I have to do to pass takes the fun away, though, because there's a certain pressure involved. When I read books for fun, I wasn't looking to have thoughts on them to share with a class to make me seem smart. I was just along for the ride.

I want to go back to being this kid, who only three years ago could barely contain herself at the thought of reading these books she had just picked up. Instead, I cringe every time I look at a book because I don't know how long it will take me to get through it, and it always seems like I never have enough time.