It had gotten to the point that when people asked how I was doing, I could no longer fake it and say “good.” Looking at my Google calendars, all I saw were scheduled times for classes, meetings, work and homework. Nowhere did I see, “focus on yourself,” “tell yourself ‘I love you,’” or “do something you want to do.” It was clear: I needed to change.
The week before Valentine’s Day, I walked by one of my friend’s bulletin boards, which had self-loving activities on slips of paper and was fittingly titled “You Should Go and Love Yourself” after the famous J-Bae lyrics. Inspired, I decided to spend Valentine’s Day not self-loathing over a gallon of ice cream and crying over "The Notebook," but loving myself by doing things that I wanted to do.
Normally, I am one to sleep in and hit the snooze button at least a million times. But as soon as my alarm went off at 9:30 a.m., I practically jumped out of bed. For once, I was excited about my day. The first thing I did was find a mirror and tell myself “I love you.” It began as a whisper for I was afraid that someone would hear me through the cement walls of my dorm room and think I was vain. Then I remembered I had set out to accomplish a goal that day. When looking at my reflection for the second time, I took a moment to really look at myself. Staring back at me was a warrior, but somewhere in there I saw innocence. Then I said it in a loud and robust voice, “I love you.”
After putting on one of my favorite outfits, I met up with some of my closest friends to grab breakfast. We went to my favorite place to eat in the small town of Kirksville—Diner 54. Normally when I eat out, I try to find the cheapest and lowest calorie meal, but not that day! I splurged and got a half order of biscuits and gravy, two eggs and a side of strawberry French toast. Having been trying to watch what I eat for the past month, my stomach was so full and happy, which made me happy.
Next, my friends and I went to see "How to Be Single" at the local movie theater. I had been dying to see the movie ever since seeing the trailer. Rebel Wilson is my spirit animal! Not only was the movie a must-see, it also related to what I had been going through. From day one humans are forming relationships, whether that’s with a doctor, nurse, family, etc. As we continue to grow, the majority of us tend to befriend more people. But the one relationship we lack is the relationship with ourselves, which this movie highlights.
Lost in thought and crying tears of laughter, my friends and I decided to jam out to some music on our way to do a photo shoot. For Christmas, I was fortunate to receive a camera from my parents and have been begging people to let me take photos of them ever since. Luckily, I have two of the greatest besties who were willing to brave the cold for me. While taking photos, I realized something. I was involuntarily smiling from ear to ear. I was happy.
After my day away from the Google calendar lifestyle, I realized it's OK to not have every second of the day consumed with school. College is great and leads to more job opportunities, but sometimes it’s a distraction from ourselves. So many times I have seen someone coming out of a class crying after receiving a bad grade or attending class even though they have a fever. What “A Day for Me” made me realize was we need to learn to take a few minutes each day to put ourselves first. Even if it’s just closing your eyes for five minutes or going for a walk, do something for you. The one relationship we maintain our entire lives is the relationship with ourselves, and to quote the wise words of Drake, “YOLO.”
