Rape has always been a very sensitive topic to discuss about but with the introduction of the #METOO movement, victims have been able to come out to say their stories and this in turn is reducing the stigma surrounding how people view sexual abuse.
However, even with the way many women and men are coming out to say their sexual abuse stories, there are other people who still feel the need to invalidate their stories just because they either have no experience with the said abuse or they have a kind of imagination as to how the abuse should have happened for it to have made more sense.
Questions like, "Why are they just speaking up now?" or "That doesn't make sense, why didn't they scream so someone could save them?" are insensitive and are also the type of thing a person who cares for a rape victim should never ask. It has been said countless times that rape is never the victim's fault; so why is it that people still say insensitive stuff like this?
Since it seems like it is hard for some people to understand why you shouldn't ask insensitive questions, I'll explain a little a bit why asking these questions doesn't make any sense.
First of all, the act of rape is so shocking to the victim that it can take years for one to be able to recover to tell their story. And even with that, the stigma that has always surrounded rape victims (like when people consider them "soiled" or "broken") makes it harder for them to be brave enough to speak their truth. Still surprised when the victims would rather not speak out?
Another thing - just because movies make rape scenes look like it is easy for victims to scream out and fight their attackers does not mean that it is that easy in real life. The shock of being assaulted in that manner is enough to make a person drift into unconsciousness. There are so many more reasons why you should not ask insensitive questions to rape victims, but these are just a few.
The best thing you can do to a rape victim who speaks out is support them wholeheartedly or just don't insert yourself. Don't try to invalidate their story - the victim and the attacker are the ones who knows what happened.
