Trigger Warning: The following article contains information about rape and sexual assault.
When you think of rape, you may think of women/men in abusive relationships, victims that were attacked by strangers, and potential date rape drugs. There has been a stigma in the past that has discouraged people from coming forward and sharing their experiences, but society is (hopefully) heading in a direction that will encourage victims of sexual assault to speak out. To protect the identity of the victim in this article, she has requested that I use a different name. This is the story of how "Anne," the fake name that I will be using, was sexually assaulted.
Anne is a 20-year-old student at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She's currently a junior but says the assault occurred when she was a first-year student.
"I had a group of friends that was mainly guys but I didn't think anything bad about it," said Anne. "I had a few friends that were girls that were also apart of the group but it was mainly dominated by guys."
Anne spent most of her time with her group of friends and trusted them after about two months of knowing them. They were like most other college kids and began drinking and going to parties.
"Obviously, we were underage at the time when all of this was going on, but I think most of the other students were, too," said Anne, " We were just having a good time and everyone agreed to take care of each other at parties to make sure everyone was safe."
Unfortunately, Anne found herself to be in an unsafe situation that she never expected to be in.
"On the night that I was raped, I was attending a Halloween party with my friends," said Anne. "I had driven to my friend's apartment and walked with her and the other people in my friend group to the house that the party was taking place at."
Anne said that she felt safe doing this because she was around her friends, a majority of them being men, that she felt could protect her from anyone attempting to hurt her.
"We went to the party and started drinking," said Anne. "We were there for a couple of hours, and my friends intended to stay there for the night, but I had to get back to my house."
Anne said that she didn't want to walk back alone because it was dark, so she asked one of her friends that hadn't been drinking if he would walk her back to her friend's apartment to get her car.
"We had been friends for a while at this point so I trusted him to take care of me," said Anne. "I was very drunk and wasn't confident that I would be safe by myself."
It was at this point that Anne began walking home with her male friend. He brought the key to their friend's apartment because they knew that she wouldn't be able to drive home in her condition. Anne does not recall what happened from the time right before she left the party until a couple of hours later.
"When I came to, I was sitting outside of my friend's apartment smoking a cigarette," said Anne. "I immediately knew something was wrong because I don't smoke and I wasn't wearing pants."
Her male friend was sitting next to her and she began asking many questions about what was going on.
"I was very upset and in a lot of pain," said Anne. "It was at this point that I went back inside my friend's apartment to find my clothes and keys."
She said that he followed her into the apartment and blocked the door so she couldn't leave.
"I started asking a lot of questions and he got very angry," said Anne. "I was scared for my life at that point because he was acting like a completely different person."
Anne has not talked to her rapist since but her friends are still friends with him even though they know what happened. Now, Anne does not talk to any of them and distances herself from people associated with them.
Anne's story is similar to many other victims of sexual assault, specifically because she knew and trusted the person who assaulted her. She thought that she was protecting herself from danger, but instead, the danger was beside her walking her home.
1 out of every 6 women in the United States will be a victim of rape or sexual assault in their lifetime, and young people are the most at risk. There are things that can be done to prevent instances like these from happening, but there is no way to eliminate it completely. However, we are able to provide support and treatment for victims. Many victims, including Anne, do not report the incident because they fear they will be judged or pinned as liars. How are we supposed to encourage victims to speak out when they are continually judged for doing so?
Anne also said she was discouraged to speak out against the rape because of the
There also lies the risk of repercussions on victims who testify. In North Carolina, second-degree sexual offenses carry a maximum sentence of fifteen years. Offenders may seek revenge, leaving the victim in a position where they cannot feel safe.
Above anything else, Anne wants people to be aware that rape can happen to anyone.
"I never thought it would happen to me and when it did I felt numb," Anne said. "It's bad enough to have it occur but I also had to worry that he would end up in a class with me."
Be careful with who you trust and never shame someone for sharing their sexual assault story.
