Rape. In the United States alone, one in five women and one in seventy-one men will be raped at some point in their life. In colleges one in five women and one in sixteen men are sexual assaulted. Sixty-three percent of rape is not reported, 90 percent on college campuses go unreported. Why though? Why do people who are raped and sexually assaulted not report the crimes that have been done against them? Rape is excused. Rapists are excused.
People who are raped and/or sexually assaulted don't report their rapes, due to many reasons. They feel ashamed, ashamed for being undressed and seen in a way that was not consensual. Rape victims blame themselves for what another has done to them unlawfully. Victims fear their lives if they tell someone what happened. They fear for not being believed. Victims have no faith in the law that they will be protected and given justice.
Ashamed, ashamed for something that was beyond their control. For being used, abused, mistreated and tortured. Yet THEY feel ashamed. Not the rapist, the one who did the shameful act. They put the blame on themselves. Because maybe they had a little too much to drink, they were walking in the "bad" part of town or because they were wearing something a little less modest. They blame themselves for the actions of their rapist. Fearful of their own life, as if getting sexually attacked wasn't fearful enough. Afraid of not being believed by the law system or a loved one. Victims not having faith in the system that is supposed to protect and serve the innocent.
Let's talk about the rapist for a moment, the one who abuses, uses, tortures and mistreats the innocent. They are let off the hook, almost immediately. They are excused for their actions, by the law, in court, repeatedly. A statistic has shown out of 1,000 sexual perpetrators, out of that number 520 of them will be released. Over half of them will be released into the world with a slap on the hand and a new victim in mind. Another study has shown out of the 63 percent of male sexual attackers at a university admitted to committing more than one sexual crime. How many men did they research, how many people were the victim and an even better question, how many people will be their future victims?
Society makes it a point to put the blame on women who wear "promiscuous" clothing as an indicator that they want to have sex. Society makes it a point to tell men that were raped by women that they should "be a man" and enjoy the sexual experience. NO WONDER rape victims are too afraid to come forward and to be ridiculed. NO WONDER rape victims blame themselves. Society says that if you're drinking it's basically an automatic yes to have sex. When did a shot of tequila turn into consent? It didn't. It never will.
Men and women, rape is real, very real. Rape is also excused. Men and women get raped and men and women can be rapists. Rape is not sexist. It is excused. I don't think it will ever change unless we make it change. We can't completely stop rape from happening, but we can stop telling our rape victims that their offender is going to be released, or get no punishment. We can stop telling our victims that it was their fault, that they should be ashamed, that they need to "stop lying." We can also tell everyone that consent is a yes. Not a wink, a smile, it is a vocal yes. An unconscious person cannot and will not give consent. And a no, a shove, push, screaming, crying, yelling for help is a no.
