For Those Who Don't Understand Emotional Support
Relationships

Rant On Odyssey: Don't Invalidate Your Friend's Feelings

That is the quickest way to lose me.

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Gokil on Unsplash

When you get to be an adult, your friends become your second family.

They're the ones that will make late-night IHOP runs with you, go on fun adventures with you on the weekends, and be the bridesmaids/groomsmen at your wedding.

One of the most important things about having close friends in adulthood is having someone you can talk to when you're struggling.

For me, these last few years have been mostly a struggle with some good moments in between, and I never could've gotten through it if it weren't for some of the amazing people in my life.

Some.

This year has definitely shown me who my true friends are. Over the last 9 months or so, I've been tried and tried again due to internal and external circumstances completely out of my control.

However, one of the biggest life lessons I've learned is it's not about what happens to you, but rather how you respond to it, and one of the biggest factors that play in how you respond to adversity is having a good support system in place.

It's one thing to go through a hard time, but it's a whole other ball game to go through a hard time alone.

I don't think many people understand just how difficult it is to communicate emotions because when people do communicate their emotions, they're continuously let down.

Take the Billie Eilish Genius interview, for example. She talks about how she hates herself and feels depressed 24/7. The comments section in the video was filled with fans responding to her talking about her depression with "mood" or "I feel that" instead of sending her love and encouragement, which is what she needs the most.

She wasn't trying to turn her mental illness into a trend. She was crying out for help in the only way she knew how.

I have had this happen to me enough times in this last year. Nearly every time I made it known I needed someone, I was screwed over.

I was left on read, I was told to get over it, I was told that it's my own fault, and sometimes the person I was talking to would make it all about themselves.

I have an extremely hard time communicating my emotions because I used to get punished for doing so by numerous "adults" in my life, and I have an even harder time doing so in adulthood.

I can't tell you how annoying and painful it is to work so hard just to make your struggles known and then be invalidated by people who supposedly "care about me".

People would respond to my cries for help with "that's a mood" or "I feel that low key" instead of actually talking it out with me. All I wanted was to be heard.

People can't read minds, but they can read nonverbals. If your friend seems a little off, ask them if they're okay.

If your loud, outgoing, energetic friend (me) is acting quiet and reserved, ask them why.

If someone seems like they're not okay, it's probably because they're not.

If you truly care about the people in your life, you will show it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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