For Those Who Don't Understand Emotional Support | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

Rant On Odyssey: Don't Invalidate Your Friend's Feelings

That is the quickest way to lose me.

379
https://unsplash.com/photos/I_p6V-AAqhU
Gokil on Unsplash

When you get to be an adult, your friends become your second family.

They're the ones that will make late-night IHOP runs with you, go on fun adventures with you on the weekends, and be the bridesmaids/groomsmen at your wedding.

One of the most important things about having close friends in adulthood is having someone you can talk to when you're struggling.

For me, these last few years have been mostly a struggle with some good moments in between, and I never could've gotten through it if it weren't for some of the amazing people in my life.

Some.

This year has definitely shown me who my true friends are. Over the last 9 months or so, I've been tried and tried again due to internal and external circumstances completely out of my control.

However, one of the biggest life lessons I've learned is it's not about what happens to you, but rather how you respond to it, and one of the biggest factors that play in how you respond to adversity is having a good support system in place.

It's one thing to go through a hard time, but it's a whole other ball game to go through a hard time alone.

I don't think many people understand just how difficult it is to communicate emotions because when people do communicate their emotions, they're continuously let down.

Take the Billie Eilish Genius interview, for example. She talks about how she hates herself and feels depressed 24/7. The comments section in the video was filled with fans responding to her talking about her depression with "mood" or "I feel that" instead of sending her love and encouragement, which is what she needs the most.

She wasn't trying to turn her mental illness into a trend. She was crying out for help in the only way she knew how.

I have had this happen to me enough times in this last year. Nearly every time I made it known I needed someone, I was screwed over.

I was left on read, I was told to get over it, I was told that it's my own fault, and sometimes the person I was talking to would make it all about themselves.

I have an extremely hard time communicating my emotions because I used to get punished for doing so by numerous "adults" in my life, and I have an even harder time doing so in adulthood.

I can't tell you how annoying and painful it is to work so hard just to make your struggles known and then be invalidated by people who supposedly "care about me".

People would respond to my cries for help with "that's a mood" or "I feel that low key" instead of actually talking it out with me. All I wanted was to be heard.

People can't read minds, but they can read nonverbals. If your friend seems a little off, ask them if they're okay.

If your loud, outgoing, energetic friend (me) is acting quiet and reserved, ask them why.

If someone seems like they're not okay, it's probably because they're not.

If you truly care about the people in your life, you will show it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

649072
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

544423
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments