A Rant On F**kboys, From A Guy

A Rant On F**kboys, From A Guy

They ruin everything!

Pretty much everyone is familiar with "F**kboys" at this point, those college aged men who wear expensive clothes, have a nice smile, are all about talking to girls, but eventually get exposed for who they truly are: unintelligent, dimwitted, and selfish characters. If you've ever been to a college frat party, or a Thursday at a bar, you see f**kboys everywhere, planning a way to woo their next girl by acting all confident while drinking copious amounts of beer and taking shot after shot of (usually very cheap) liquor. They can be quite an interesting and loud bunch when in packs.

Honestly, I couldn't care less about a bunch of simple alpha males going nuts and being the life of the party. However, there is one thing about the typical f**kboy that drives me nuts to the point where I literally can't stand to be around f**kboys anymore. It is, the large frequency of f**kboys out there, paired with the emotional damage f**kboys can cause by objectifying and possibly even taking advantage of women, can cause the false assumption that "all guys are the same."

Now, before I get ahead of myself, I want to make something clear. Don't think that I'm just some frustrated hopeless romantic who's taking it out on other guys. While it is true that it's been quite some time since my last relationship, I am single mostly by choice, and only want to pursue something if someone truly special comes along. Those kind of people are rare.

Still, as a guy who HATES seeing women being taken advantage of, and as a guy who wants women, or anyone for that matter, to feel comfortable being around me, I can say the f**kboys pose a huge challenge to the decent men of this world. This is because over time, f**kboys have evolved to look more and more like nice people on the outside. For example, their wardrobe has been on point as of late. Often times, I find myself in a social setting being well-dressed, and when talking to people, particularly women, I often get a "You're actually a lot nicer than I thought you were going to be when I saw you." Today, simply DRESSING NICE can get you mistaken for a f**kboy.

Another way the f**kboy has evolved is through the art of pretending to be emotionally intelligent. In most cases, emotional intelligence is a sign of wisdom and maturity, so why wouldn't someone look for that in anyone their friendly with? Many f**kboys have a script of things they ask to make them seem sensitive and sophisticated even though they're not. They'll ask things like "How've your brother and sister been lately?" or "Where did you get that awesome bracelet?" These are questions with substance that encourage discussion rather than just "Uhhhh, so....um.....wanna make out?" F**ckboys really are chameleons.

So how can the women and decent men of the world stop F**kboys from roaming around? Well, that's the one problem. While there are obviously things we can do to make sure a woman is never taken advantage of, these isn't really much we can do to eliminate the f**kboys themselves. It's not like one day they'll wake up and decide not to be f**kboys. All we can do is learn to recognize f**kboys. For women, that means trusting your gut and making sure the guy truly is respectful. For decent men, that means keep being respectful, but be more confident. F**kboys have all the confidence in the world, so if we're more confident, we can throw them off their game, and become great partiers ourselves who are fun and crazy, but also RESPECTFUL TO WOMEN.

I wrote this because I have been perceived as a f**kboy by a few people as of late. I looked very sharp wardrobe wise and my conversation skills seemed a little scripted. I guess that set off the f**kboy alarm. If this is going to keep happening, we need to show these f**kboys that we won't stand for them anymore. How I long for a day when men and women can interact together no strings attached, but that's probably not happening anytime soon with sexism and sexualization everywhere. It's wishful thinking, but this was a rant, one I really needed to get off my chest.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Stop Saying 'Love Is Love' And Then Shame Me For Dating A Republican

"How can you date a Republican?!" Quite easily, actually.


"And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love." Other theater geeks like me probably also remember this quote from Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech in 2016. Now, thanks to Lin-Manuel and his talent for catchy phrases, every time someone says "love is love," all I can think of is Lin-Manuel's emphatic cry for equality.

This cry is one that I support wholeheartedly. I think that you should be allowed to love whomever you choose and that you should do so without fear of hatred or scrutiny. If you are a guy who loves guys, great. If you are a girl who loves girls, great. If you are a girl who loves guys and girls, great. You are born a certain way with certain sexual preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you believe that people should be free to love anyone they choose, then, honey, you better start looking past gender.

Let me tell you a little story.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my closest friends about my boyfriend of almost 11 months. Somehow (and I'm shocked that this hadn't come up before), my boyfriend's political preferences became the topic of conversation.

The conversation went something like this:

"Wait, so is Tom a Democrat or Republican?"

"He's a Republican."

"WHAT?! Are you serious?"


"How can you date a Republican?"

After that, I basically went on a five-minute rant about how at the end of the day, his political preferences only make up a small fraction of who he is as a person and that I am not so shallow that I would be deterred by something this trivial.

At our cores, Tom and I value the exact same things: compassion, knowledge, kindness, dedication, honesty, respect, and above all else, love. Tom loves me unconditionally and I give him that same love in return; honestly, what else could I ask for?

Tom and I do get in some political arguments from time to time, but we also agree on those issues that are most important to me: female reproductive rights, marriage equality, and support for survivors of sexual assault. All of those things are non-negotiables for me, and Tom understands that and possesses his own list of non-negotiables.

Before you ask, yep, he voted for Trump. Did that take me back at first? Yes. Did I struggle to understand what would compel a person to vote for him? Absolutely. Did that thought kind of terrify me at first? Hell yes.

But you know what? After I just sat and listened to Tom's reasoning as to why he voted for him and watched him delve deep into Trump's policies, I could understand why some would vote for him. And to tell the truth, once I fell in love with Tom, none of that mattered anymore. And what is sad is that people so often fall so deep into their own echo chambers nowadays, that they wouldn't even give someone with different beliefs their ear. Well, I'm damn glad I did because Tom is the most amazing person I've ever met and I fall more in love with him every day.

So to tie this all together with a pretty little bow, if you're going to go around and preach that love is love and that everyone should be free to love whom they choose, then that shouldn't change for me. Maybe you're a Democrat that would never date a Republican or maybe you're a Republican who would never date a Democrat; that's your choice. But we don't get to choose who we fall in love with (much to the dismay of my liberal family and friends). Just keep an open mind and who knows? Maybe you could find some absolutely epic happiness.

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After 365 Days Together, I Can Say For Sure: You're My Person

This year has been everything I needed and more. I love you very much.


About a year ago, we lay in my bed on a rainy Sunday morning and I asked you when you were going to make me yours. We had a conversation about the things we expected out of this proposed relationship and the things we expected of each other. We promised to take our bond seriously and to honor it at all costs. We looked at each other, knowingly, as if we could both tell this was the start of something very special.

Well, babe, we weren't wrong.

This past year has been one for the books, to say the least. We traveled the country and witnessed some insanely beautiful moments together. We endured bad days and came out stronger on the other side. We grew as individuals, and we grew as a couple. Every day is better for me just by you being a part of it.

I can't thank you enough for all you've done for me. It's the greatest feeling in the world knowing that you have someone who will love you unconditionally, no questions asked. You make me feel so secure in myself and our relationship, which is all I've ever really wanted out of sharing my life with someone. Maybe I'm biased, but I'm pretty sure our chemistry is off the charts. I've never seen two people mesh together so well. I feel like we have this connection that's so rare and so precious, I can't believe we were lucky enough to find each other this young.

The future seems scary sometimes, and I'm not sure about a lot of it. I don't know what job I'll have as an adult. I don't know where I want to end up living for the rest of my life. I don't even know my work schedule for next week yet. There's only one thing I know for certain in my bones: no matter where I'm at or what I'm doing, I can't picture myself not being by your side. You make all situations better for me.

You're undoubtedly my person.

My dream for us is to always continue to keep living and loving this way, together. I hope we never lose this undeniable chemistry and our comfortability of just being around one another. I know as we age things may change, and we may not always be as exciting and adventurous as we are at 21, but as long as you're mine, I promise to love you a little bit more every single day. As we grow and learn individually, I hope to also grow and learn as a pair. I know it takes a lot to make a relationship last, but if anyone can do it, it's absolutely going to be us.

Happy one year, my love. This life is crazy and beautiful and I wouldn't want to experience one minute of it without you. Thank you for taking me as I am, and loving me so well. This year has been everything I needed and more. I love you very much.

- Zoë

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