The Hypocrisy Of Raising Children Better

We Can't Blame Our Parents For Everything And Frankly, The Idea Of Raising Children 'Better' Is Just Hypocritical

You can't say that the home environment bred one thing and had little to do with the other.

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I had recently seen a movie in which a man commits crimes because of a traumatic experience he had in his childhood and it got me thinking. Nowadays, people often say that people should raise better sons instead of instilling their daughters with fear. Parents should teach them to respect women. We also say that hatred breeds more hatred, therefore kids that grow up in racist or sexist households will probably grow up to be sexist or racist, as well. We say that the parents instilled this belief in their children.

Now, we know that everyone has a moral compass and everyone has a say in how they behave, but these values and morals come from what our parents teach us. Some young people still believe that being homosexual is wrong because their families have deeply instilled that in their mind, and it will be difficult to change that. But what about the kids who grow up in violent households thinking that it is normal or the kids who see their parents do something awful and their parents say it is okay? They grow up believing that it is okay to hurt people or even kill them.

We automatically label these people as evil or criminals, just like we label others sexists or homophobic, but rarely do I ever hear that their parents should have raised them better or they are partly to blame.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that what they did was wrong, they made the choice to do it and they might not be good people, but I think we need to see that if they too were raised differently, maybe they would've been better. I just feel that people easily assign blame to the parents in some situations and not others and I think it is hypocritical because you can't say that the home environment bred one thing and had little to do with the other.

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I'm Not 'Spoiled,' I Just Won't Apologize For Having Great Parents

Having supportive parents is one of the best things that ever happened to me.

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When I tell people that I am the baby of my family, there is always a follow-up question asking if I am spoiled. As I was a child, perhaps the situation was a little different because I did not receive material things but instead got my way or rarely was punished. I was most likely spoiled rotten in that sense, especially by my grandparents. Fast forward to the age of 19 and I can say that my parents give me everything that I need, not necessarily everything that I want.

But I still don't think I'm spoiled.

I might legally be an adult, but my parents still provide for me. I may live at school during the semester, but my parents don't charge me rent or utilities when I am at home. My mom still does my laundry. They pay my phone bill monthly. When my mom goes grocery shopping, she doesn't have me chip in to help. She will make sure the bathroom is stocked with tampons or shampoo so I don't have to worry about it. The both of them make sure I have the sufficient needs to not be hungry, cold, or without shelter.

They do all of these things because they want what is best for me.

While they pay my student loans, I give them money to cover it as well as a little extra each month for different expenses. If we go out to eat, I do offer to pay but often get shut down and end up leaving the tip instead. I help around the house and sometimes make trips to the store for food or cleaning supplies, not asking for money to be paid back.

I have a job that gives me decent hours, but my parents understand that money for a college kid is tough.

I pay for my own luxuries such as makeup, cute clothes, even to get my hair cut. Spoiled is typically defined as "damaged by having been given everything they want." Do I want another dog? Yes. Do I have one? No. Do I want a swimming pool in my backyard? Yes. Do I have one? Again, no. That is because both my mother and father still believe in working for what you want and even their daughter doesn't get a free pass unless it's her birthday or Christmas. Do I still have everything I could ever need? Yes.

My parents do the exact same thing for my brother and sister who are older than I am.

I know if I have a problem, whether it be financial or crucial, I can turn to them for help. A lot of people my age don't have parents like I do and I am extremely grateful for them and everything that they do. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

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Dear Mom, I Hope You Know

They always say that daughters grow up to be just like their mothers. All I can say is "I hope that's true."

JordynL
JordynL
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Ever since I was little, you fought for me. Granted, every mother fights for their child (or should). But you? You went through so much before I ever became a factor in your life and it made you strong, yet terrified- even though you might never admit it. But once I was here, you knew that that was it. This is what God had intended for you. You knew that your job was to raise and love me with all your heart, and strive to be the best mom that you could be. And you succeeded.

Despite everything that was, and still is, thrown at you, you always managed to stay strong, fight through it all and win. The amount of strength that you have is unbelievable and I honestly have no idea how you do everything you do. All I do know is that you are a force to be reckoned with. Nothing can stand in your way because one way or another, you'll get it taken care of and try your damnedest for perfection.

I also know that raising me wasn't easy. After all, you're right. I'm my father's daughter. I sometimes focus on a tiny detail rather than the big picture, or I say and do things that are beyond stupid. But I'm your daughter too; the relentless attitude, sarcasm, and smartass-ness are 100% you, and even you can't deny that- well you could, but we both know it be bullshit. Regardless, you've never given up. Despite the terrible things I've said to or about you (that you eventually heard directly), I want you to know that in my heart, I didn't mean it. I never have. (Aside from the smidgen of things that you've admitted yourself). I know you know that, but that doesn't make it excusable. Everyone knows raising a daughter isn't easy, and all moms know that they'll eventually be the bad guy in any situation but you always pushed through it. I have to commend you for that.

You were always there, supporting everything that I did and helped every chance you could. All the way through those stupid choir concerts in elementary school that sound God awful, spelling bees, band concerts, performances during football games, marching band and colorguard contests, solo and ensemble, dress shopping for banquets and proms (including having to deal with Band Boosters and other incompetent band parents), high school graduation, college move in/out days, college performances, cheering me on as a member of the rowdiest student organization OSU has to offer, and eventually my soon-to-come college graduation. All this, with every little thing in-between.

You rode my ass through school to make sure I did well, and hell, you still do and I'm in college. True, I did the physical work, but you constantly made sure my head was it the right place. You've always had my back, even when I thought you didn't. If I ever seemed like I was veering off in a different direction, you managed to guide me back to where I needed to be to achieve. All you've ever wanted was for me to succeed. Because of your encouragement, guidance, and pushing me to be the best I can be, I'm attending my dream school and chasing after the profession that I've always wanted.

--

But let's pretend none of that matters for a second.

Regardless of all that, I hope you know that I'm thankful to have you. You. I'm thankful for all the things you've done, sure, but I'm beyond grateful that you are my mom. If I had anyone else, I don't know who or where I would be. I would expect to be the polar opposite of who I am now, if I'm being honest. But I like the person I've become. I like what I'm doing and what I've achieved. The only reason I've gotten as far as I have is because of you. Yes, I have my own drive but you are the one that made it so strong, academically and otherwise. And yes, I have dad and memee that contributed and were there as much as they could be, but at the end of the day they're not you.

We may have gone through constant battles with each other in the past, but now they're far and few between. As I've grown and become more mature, we've become closer and that'll continue. They always say that daughters grow up to be their mothers, and all I can say is "I hope that's true".

You are independent, intelligent, loving, caring, beautiful, responsible, respectable, funny, protective, brave, loyal, and most importantly: strong.

And don't you dare let anyone tell you otherwise.

I can only hope that when I'm older, I'll be like you. I know I'm already on my way, but that doesn't change the fact that I have big shoes to fill. I hope I'll be at least half the woman and mother that you are. And when the time comes for you to pass the torch, I hope I'm ready, worthy, and strong enough to take on everything you have.

But let's avoid that for as long as possible please.

This, admittedly, doesn't express my complete appreciation for you; nor does it express the fear of eventually losing you. I hope and pray that day doesn't come for a while. I can't imagine not be able to call or surprise you on the weekends. But again, let's avoid that for as long as possible.

I sincerely hope you know how much I appreciate you and everything you've done and sacrificed for me. I hope you know that you are the reason that I've made it as far as I have. I hope you know that you're the reason I keep striving to be the best I can, not only for myself, but because you did the same thing for me time and time again. I hope I'm making you proud and plan to never stop trying.

But most importantly, I hope you know how much I love you.

JordynL
JordynL

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