We Can't Blame Our Parents For Everything And Frankly, The Idea Of Raising Children 'Better' Is Just Hypocritical

We Can't Blame Our Parents For Everything And Frankly, The Idea Of Raising Children 'Better' Is Just Hypocritical

You can't say that the home environment bred one thing and had little to do with the other.

16
views

I had recently seen a movie in which a man commits crimes because of a traumatic experience he had in his childhood and it got me thinking. Nowadays, people often say that people should raise better sons instead of instilling their daughters with fear. Parents should teach them to respect women. We also say that hatred breeds more hatred, therefore kids that grow up in racist or sexist households will probably grow up to be sexist or racist, as well. We say that the parents instilled this belief in their children.

Now, we know that everyone has a moral compass and everyone has a say in how they behave, but these values and morals come from what our parents teach us. Some young people still believe that being homosexual is wrong because their families have deeply instilled that in their mind, and it will be difficult to change that. But what about the kids who grow up in violent households thinking that it is normal or the kids who see their parents do something awful and their parents say it is okay? They grow up believing that it is okay to hurt people or even kill them.

We automatically label these people as evil or criminals, just like we label others sexists or homophobic, but rarely do I ever hear that their parents should have raised them better or they are partly to blame.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that what they did was wrong, they made the choice to do it and they might not be good people, but I think we need to see that if they too were raised differently, maybe they would've been better. I just feel that people easily assign blame to the parents in some situations and not others and I think it is hypocritical because you can't say that the home environment bred one thing and had little to do with the other.

Popular Right Now

To The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your picket fence and I'll raise my protest sign.
15305
views

You can raise your picket fence, but that won't stop me from raising my protest sign.

I don't think you fully understand what your social media feeds are constantly filled with. The protests, the quotes, the "mobs" of women protesting, they aren't doing this because women should no longer be mothers or homemakers.

We are not doing this because we feel self-righteous or that we want the attention. We need the attention because our fight isn't over.

I'm glad that you know so many females with leadership roles and so many girls in a male-dominated field. But does that mean our fight is over?

No, not at all.

Don't get me wrong, we have made strides in the past few years, but we are definitely far from being equal. Just because we have begun to make cracks in that very thick glass ceiling does not mean the fight is over. I am glad that you recognize the struggles that have taken place, but the progress is far from where we'd like it to be. The gender gap still does exist, I promise you.

"Please stop."

Because it is insulting the women out there fighting for equality for not only women, but also, minorities, the LGBTQ+ community, and all others who are not the predominant majority in the world today.

I know you say that new roles today force you to be shamed for being a homemaker, but that's where I think you aren't seeing the big picture.

I understand the fact that you think not taking some powerful position in an office seems like taking the backseat and being shamed for not helping out the women in today's society; but, women today are still put in the gender-role of child bearers and nurturers.

I have a problem with that. I want a successful career. I have wanted to be a successful woman for as long as I can remember.

Shattering that glass ceiling is something I look forward to, but since entering college I have become stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Why?"

Because when I think about it, getting married and having children falls in the "backseat" in my mind. People ask "Oh, have you found a boy at college, yet?" Or, "How many kids do you think you'd like to have?"

And I freeze. I can tell them how I'd love to study abroad or get an internship with a professional sports team in their marketing division, but I don't really know how many, let alone if, I want to have kids.

You see, at least right now, being a homemaker or having a family doesn't have a top priority to me. But, that doesn't mean you can't have that as your top priority.

I will have no problem working long hours, researching and battling it out with the "big boys."

Still today that will be a hard-earned place to get to for a woman, I am willing to work for it. This doesn't make me any less feminine, or nurturing, or caring, or kind.

But, when people realize I am not necessarily focused on finding a life partner, or figuring out what the names of my future kids will be, I am stereotyped as being a cold, ruthless woman who doesn't play well with others.

However, I am not. In no way does this define who I am. This also doesn't set in stone that I will never get married and never have kids. And coming from me, if you have the patience and power to raise multiple kids and run your household, all the power to ya girl. I don't think I could do that. I grew up with an amazing stay-at-home mother, but the whole idea just doesn't appeal to me. I totally understand the mindset, because being a homemaker was exactly what my mother wanted to be.

Being a homemaker does not make her weak and frail; she is one of the strongest women I know, and can definitely get shit done. The best part of feminism is that it gives you the power to do both, it is just that being a powerful woman in a workplace carries a lot more stigma than being a homemaker.

So let me look forward to my business blouse, afternoon meetings, and spreadsheets.

I'll support you in your endeavors through supporting the PTA and helping out the local community schools. Just like you said, "It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power."

Cover Image Credit: Nagel Photography

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

I Chose Babysitting Over Retail And Will Never Regret Taking Care Of 'My Kids'

Children have taught me so much about myself.

3293
views

Babysitting just sounds like a high school thing. Like something you do a few days after school or on occasional weekends when your parents are pressing you to get a job but nowhere seems to be hiring. So why not watch some kids for a few hours a week? It pays well (usually) and it's easy (sometimes).

Maybe not right now, but a lot of us will want a family of our own one day.

Did you ever think about what you are going to do when a baby is placed in your lap and you suddenly become permanently responsible for someone other than yourself? First-time parents are learning every day. It's like switching your major from journalism to biomedical science. Those who've experienced children through babysitting will always have the upper hand, a little bit of background skill.

What I've learned from babysitting is that no child is the same. Each child I've babysat comes from a different family with a different dynamic and a different set of rules. Therefore, how could every child act the same?

It's easy to get mad when they're stubborn or don't listen. But how can you blame them? You have no idea what happens in their home when you leave to make it to that party you thought you were going to miss.

The children I've babysat have taught me just as much, if not more than I feel I've taught them in the short time I've had them. Kids are kids, every age group is a different version of annoying, I know, I get it. But every now and then, if you just stop and listen to what they have to say, they will surprise you every time.

Not only are kids funny, but they've had me on the ground laughing out loud, thinking, "How did that sentence just come out of a three-year-old's mouth?" The pure mispronouncing of words and insertion of quotes they must've heard on television — it's all an expression of how their brains are understanding the world and it's really quite amazing.

But every once in a while, that three-year-old will tell you something that completely baffles you.

Something about life or about the world that makes so much sense and is explained so simply, it makes us adults look stupid. That is why I love kids. They have this unique ability to teach us a thing or two about how we should be acting and how we should be treating one another.

Over the past six years, I've been peed on, fallen asleep on and creamsicle dripped on. I've had shoes thrown at me while I'm driving, I've dealt with a little boy's bloody fist after it punched a hole through a glass window.

Temper tantrums and breakdowns aside, the hardest part about babysitting is leaving.

When the end of the summer rolls around and it's time to move back into your college apartment, the hardest thing you will do is say goodbye to those kids that called you "Miss Renee" 45 hours a week, for three months. Those kids looked up to you as a role model. They didn't see you as the broke college student who needed a way to fund her senior year and pay off her credit card debt. By the end of the summer, they become so much more than that.

Those were "you're kids" no matter how many times you had to explain yourself to the moms on the playground when they told you your kids were adorable.

You'll never be able to get them out of your head, their little voices singing along to the "Lion King" soundtrack in the backseat on the way home from the pool. All the times they made you laugh, in ways your friends could never replicate. Babysitting is so important. It teaches you about yourself in ways you'll only understand when it's over. It gives you a glimpse into the future but also a look into the past — your past.

Related Content

Facebook Comments