So we all know that racism still lives beyond the civil war, right? I mean I am hoping that we aren’t blind and see that this problem has become the most relevant issue since the birth of the United States. We’ve come so far, but not far enough. In my recent stroll around New York and in my personal life, I came across something I have never really heard about, sexual racism. Since the beginning of a sexual journey, I noticed how big of a problem this is – especially for minorities. It’s not a question that our society is built on a sex drive. We love it, we embrace it and we find ourselves playing the game. However, sex comes with complications metaphorically and physically; there are topics within sex itself that really define our ways of viewing society – the way we treat someone in the bedroom or before the bedroom, is how we treat strangers on the streets or the general public around us.

New York City is the capital of sin city. We have Sex and the City which represents so much of sex culture, Girls where trying to fit in leads to sex and although television and film create such fictional stories, it is not a definitive portrayal of sex in real life. Sexual racism exists in both heterosexual and homosexual communities. Interracial marriage is still looked as “bizarre” in certain places of the world, especially the south on the United States. Now, sexual racism is a discrimination of a potential sexual partner or romantic partner and his or hers racial identity (Dictionary.com). In other terms, the word sexism comes to mind.

Online dating has been the key to this spark! There is no-doubt about that. If you're using tinder, eharmony or match they all have this influence in it. You swipe right if you think the person is “cute” or you swipe left if you aren’t attracted to them. This makes things harder. How are we supposed to find love if it is all a game of physical attraction? Online dating allows you to choose preferences within your profile. For example, you can choose a preference in age, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or sexual preferences. Already that says a lot about who we are as an individual. Does it all matter? Beliefs, that’s the key to it. People want to contain their beliefs within their culture or religion and they refuse to open the doors to others.

I may not know what occurs in heterosexual communities, but I know this, men seeking women rarely look at racial traits; men seeking men, race is used to advertise oneself. The prevalent thing in this community is the look upon the LGBT Asian men. They are seen as feminine and are desexualized for their qualities. LGBT Asian women are less seen and almost are invisible in the LGBT community. I’ve not done much research on this topic and am going off from conversations I’ve had with friends, but can it be a fetish thing? Is it discrimination because we aren’t sexually attracted to their race? That’s entirely a rhetorical question and can go either way.

In my experience, being a Hispanic male has proven this theory I’ve come across. I’m seen as a guy that if not “macho” than he has to be a “housewife” and do what I say. Then again, I’ve never dated people who aren't Hispanic, Black or Arabic - who by the way are labeled by their culture and dominating customs. Being a New Yorker and full of culture all around I find it hard to believe. But is it because they are discriminating other cultures or because they aren’t sexually attracted to other races? I am accepting to every culture. I try to learn to say hello in so many languages and I am pro-multiculturalism, yet this idea of sexual racism has been and will continue to affect our communities all around.