Microaggressions.
Some readers might read that first word and decide, "Yeah, this one isn't for me," or even "Huh? 'Microaggressions'? What even is that?" and both click off to go back to scrolling through Facebook for more cat videos and memes to copy onto their wall.
There are a few, or hopefully more than a few, who take one glance at the opening and know "This one. This one's exactly what I need right now,".
I'll try not to disappoint.
For those who aren't aware, I've recently made the decision to leave my Susquehanna University-bound fraternity, Phi Mu Delta, for purely benevolent reasons. We've ended things on good terms, what with my only real incentive to leave is the relatively high cost of semester dues and time management between dual majors.
All of this, and my faith in friends that I've made during my time as a Brother remaining close after my disenfranchisement is so strong that I felt writing this article was almost a compulsion.
What can be described as a racially-biased incident occurred, and I was contacted by many who wanted this brought to light. I still love the majority of the men in Phi Mu Delta, and don't want this story twisted into something it is not. So here goes.
See, not a week prior, a volunteer event on my campus resulted in a group chat being created in order to foster faster and more easily accessible connections between participating brothers. Innocent enough, right?
The online conversation took a dark turn when a to-be-nameless brother took to calling his friends: You goddamn negroes in response to six others going to a recreational activity without him.
Realizing this message was sent to the wrong chat, this brother immediately followed up with an "Aw, shucks, folks!" by replying Shoot wrong chat, apologies!
Others in the group chat noticed this apology only drew attention to the message being sent to the wrong chat, and not an apology for the comment itself. This brother then withdrew from the conversation by taking himself out of the group chat.
In rapid response, a senior brother called out the offending brother. He also found it alarming that only he and a few others in the fraternity spoke out on the group chat, and felt others wanted him to be silent to preserve the good mood.
He also believed that, as a white male, he inherently came from a place of privilege, and was under the impression that remaining complacent about racially-biased incidents is not different from being a perpetrator to that same system of oppression.
Malik Black, another Phi Mu Delta brother, also had some words for the situation.
From Black's point of view, the offending brother made an "asinine comment" which was followed by "endorsing emojis" from another(who will be unnamed) member.
Malik Black desired a direct apology, specifically to the brothers of color in the fraternity, as a means of establishing a base for trust again for the future. Later, he did receive one and was grateful for it, the beginnings of reform.
Perhaps the walls of Susquehanna have ears after all, for soon enough, others on campus received word about the incident, and the news traveled like fire. One word, though, rose above all the rest: microaggressions.
As in, "It is a shame people feel under attack[all the time] from these...microaggressions." This is where I take issue; when a racial slur is directed as a joke on campus and accepted as a minor inconvenience to the normalized scheduling of events.
Wanting to remain as unbiased as possible, I reached out to the adjunct professor serving as the fraternity's faculty adviser, who had this to say:
"We often think of racism in terms of overt acts of aggression, but this instance illuminates the way context plays a role in how what we say is received. I would think he would have hesitated before saying what he said in a public context.
Shouting it in the cafeteria during the busy lunch hour would have been ill-received, right? What, then, makes us think that these comments are appropriate in a private context. Ultimately, I hope that he takes responsibility for his language and understands that the words were hurtful and shameful on many levels.
But I hope that he can initiate conversations which help others understand the way language, whether public or private, contributes to abusive systems of power. Hopefully, he can help us have these conversations before destructive language is used, and not after.”
I even ended up speaking with the brother at the heart of this whole dilemma himself, who is deeply humbled by his actions. He claims that this was a one-time incident, that he'd never made a comment or uttered the N-word prior, and harkens this all back to the area in which he grew up in.
He related to me how his hometown is noninclusive, racially-insensitive, and that while he has grown up with this rhetoric most of his life, fully understands that there is no place for it on Susquehanna's campus, or anywhere else for that matter.
He intends to not only reform his own verbal patterns and behavioral habits but also make amends by spreading knowledge about how words and actions, even microaggressions, can hurt people. He is but human, who erred, and to err is human.
As a person of color, formerly one of his brother, and a human being, I'm wondering how I treat him: should it be any different?
Perhaps. Perhaps not.
In closing, understand that I do not hold Phi Mu Delta fraternity responsible. These were the actions of one man, one brother. They do not reflect the opinions of the whole.
The members I have come into contact with and befriended over time are nothing but kind and courteous. This is but one incident that draws the side-eye from me, but talking with brothers who rally against this rhetoric gives me hope.
It was but an isolated incident. I might be leaving, but the brotherhood is in good hands. In addition, the unnamed brother in question has made steps to rectify this incident, steps that are admirable in my eyes and make me hopeful to see some can admit their mistakes.
If there is one lesson I take away from all of this, it is that people can make a difference. It might be in their fraternity, in themselves, or in the world, if only given the chance.
