Anyone who has seen the show "Friends", one of the top-grossing sitcoms of the 90s, has doubtlessly typed themselves as one of the six main members of the principal "Friends" cast: Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Ross.
When I first watched the show as a kid, my first instinct was to decide I was the most like Rachel Green. I was drawn to the fashionable friend with the amazing hair. Rachel was dramatic in the best way, was funny enough to be approachable, and ended up with an amazing career in the fashion world. Ross pined after her for years and was head over heels for her. She arguably had the best relationships with each of the other friends. She had great jobs at companies like Ralph Lauren and was successful enough to be asked to move to Paris. What could be better than being Rachel Green?
I spent many years pretending I was the most like Rachel, at least until I did some serious self-reflection. In the end, I had to admit that I was sadly mistaken in self-identifying as Rachel. In all reality, I am in utterly and completely a Chandler Bing.
Chandler, like me, routinely uses humor to cover up any and all real emotions, and frequently undercuts serious moments with jokes that may or may not be funny. His jokes are sometimes hit or miss, but that doesn't stop him from making them.
In addition to making real jokes, Chandler also makes comments which can make those around him uncomfortable, such as the jokes about his parents' divorce caused him or his lack of serious relationships. Chandler is socially awkward, not the most confident person in the world, and routinely avoids confrontation and dealing with conflict.
However, Chandler has more attributes than just this list of flaws. Being a Chandler isn't entirely a bad thing. He is the only one who starts out the show with a stable job and a steady income, making me think he may be the friend with the whole adulthood thing figured out. He is devoted to each of his friends and treats them like family. Out of all six friends, Chandler goes through the most positive character growth, learning to open up and be genuine with his friends and with Monica.
As the show goes through its ten seasons, Chandler learns to balance his humor and emotional vulnerability, making him capable of both being funny and developing close connections with the people he cares about. Throughout the show, Chandler becomes more ambitious and learns to follow his passions, such as when he pursues advertising as a career.
Being a Chandler doesn't just mean you cover up your awkwardness with jokes, and it doesn't just mean you frequently mess up in social situations. Being a Chandler means you're a loyal friend, a strong person, and capable of amazing personal growth.
So to all my fellow Chandler Bings out there: be proud of your Chandler-ness. Keep making those jokes, those sarcastic comments, and keep following your dreams. You're doing great. The friends wouldn't be the same without their Chandler. Sooner or later, we'll all find our Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel. In the meantime, just enjoy being one of the most beloved characters on a beloved show.
