I've never been a huge fan of quotes, I always find them cheesy and unrealistic. Maybe that's the pessimistic mental illness in me talking, but I can't stand those inspirational quotes that are always thrown in my face when I'm having a bad day.
That being said, there is one quote that has had a major impact on me and I thought it'd be the perfect thing to talk about for my first post, as it ties into one major aspect of my life.
I have a long history of mental illness and it can be really hard at times. It sucks when at what should be a super exciting and happy time of my life, getting ready to start college and adulthood, I am sitting across from my therapist signing a contract saying I won't kill myself or will contact someone if I think I will. It's funny how life plays out sometimes and how different it can be from what you imagined. But here I am, dealing the best I can with the messed up brain I was given. One thing that has helped me put this all in perspective is Rupi Kaur's quote:
"And here you are living despite it all"
Rupi Kaur is a brilliant poet and writer known for her New York Times Best Seller book, Milk and Honey, and just recently released her second book The Sun and Her Flowers (which I really need to read!!). This quote comes from her tumblr page, where she gained her initial following and fan base.
This quote, "and here you are living despite it all," really stuck with me when I first read it. Given my mental health history, I find this quote truly inspiring and relatable, unlike the basic, cheesy quotes that I usually hear about rainbows and smiles, finding the good in everything, blah blah blah. Those are unrealistic for me. Kaur's quote just makes me think a lot about my mental illness. I usually think it's bigger than me, stronger than me, controls me. But this quote reminds me that I'm the one winning and
If I am still alive after all I have been through, there has to be a reason.
My mental illness could consume me and make me nothing, but I have been stronger than that. I am still here, I am breathing, I am alive, and that's enough. It's okay to not be okay and I might not be living my happiest life right now, but I'm alive. I am here still, after all the panic attacks, therapy, mental health days, medication changes, nights I cry myself to sleep, and psychiatry appointments. Sometimes I need this reminder; that even though I've been through a hell of a lot and am still battling my own mind every single day, trying to just hold on one more day, I am here. Some day are worse than others and some days I feel like giving up, but my mental illness hasn't won the battle and I'm going to keep fighting because I have to believe I am here for a reason... And you are too.
If you are in a crisis or need support/someone to talk to, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text "START" to 741-741
