If you've never seen "Easy A," and still call yourself an Emma Stone fan, then please stop reading here. Even with her Oscar win and countless movies since, it remains one of her greatest films to date. For those of you that have seen it, you know that Olive Pendergast's array of sarcastic and wordy lines makes this a uniquely quotable film. After watching the film over and over, waiting for a chance to use one of her clever quips, here's that chance to find an Emma Stone line for use during your many daily trials and tribulations.
1. I'm swell, guy-I've-never-laid-eyes-on-before.
This is for the stranger that decides to chat you up on the street with some "witty" pickup line despite you clearly being uninterested in a conversation. It's safe to say any woman will find some way to use this one or at least can remember a time they wish they had this one in their back pocket.
2. Do me a favor and just stuff this down my throat until I asphyxiate to death.
Over the top? Yes. Effective when you want to stop your friend from going over all the reasons she thinks Cassie is the one for Colton for the fifth time? Definitely. It truly embodies the feelings you have whenever your forced to listen the inane topics some friend or stranger decides to confront you about.
3. What ever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80s movies?
Whether it's aimed to the person who decided holding the door for you would be too much effort or the truly unoriginal guy who thought inviting you on a date to the dining hall is romantic, it'll express exactly what you're feeling.
4. Ooh, burn!
GiphyThis pretty much works in any situation that someone has the audacity to think they can bring you down. I recommend bringing it out the next time you politely decline a guy's advances and he deals with his rejection by promptly insulting you.
5. I just have something in my eye. Like a twig, you know, or a branch.
This one works for when you've finally hit rock bottom and cried on the way home from work, only to have a stranger awkwardly ask if you're alright. Honestly, we've all been there.
Here's hoping these one-liners keep you from looking back on your last argument or awkward encounter while lying in bed wishing you had thought of that clever comeback just a little bit sooner.
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