Holidays are about family time. A lot of family time. Not that you don't love your family because you do. It can just be a bit much when you, your parents, your siblings, and your dog pile into a too-small car and drive several hundred miles to an older relative's house to sit for an extended period of time in a stuffy room eating cheese and crackers and having your Great Aunt Shirley ask you (for the 50th time), "What are your plans for life?" You casually shrug your shoulders while cringing internally at the thought of the future, and try to move on to a new subject. But then Uncle Kevin joins in and asks the very similar question, "What are you going to do after graduation?" There is no escape. When one relative moves away, another replaces them, asking the almost identical string of redundant and slightly insulting questions. It's nice that they want to know what's up with you, for sure. If only there was a way to just gather the whole family together and explain your life to all of them at once. #wishfulthinking. If you're young(ish), hopefully, the following will remind you that you are not alone in your anguish. If you're old(ish), here are some questions to avoid.
What college are you going to go to?
For all the high school seniors out there, Kylie feels your pain. You're also most likely still finishing up applications and writing essays, so this question is extremely unwelcome.
What classes are you taking?
After you literally just went over your entire schedule with Grandpa Carl and Great Uncle Martin. Twice.
What's your major?
Rage.
What college do you go to again?
I bought you a bumper sticker from my college. I saw it on your car.
Do you have a job?
"Oh, well, I'm just trying to focus on school and stuff right now."
Well, are you planning on getting a job?
Nope. I'm just gonna be a housewife. Maybe I'll start my own line of custom, hand-painted shoelaces or tie-dyed pot holders or something.
Don't you ever put that phone down?
*opens Twitter* *rants about how Grandma asked, "Don't you ever put that phone down?"* *gets 30 favorites and nine retweets* *puts Grandma asking that on Snapchat story* *makes a Vine of it and turns it into a song*
Are you seeing anyone?
... what do you think?
You're not?
No words.
But what about *insert name of middle school S.O*
Just stop.
How are you still single?
It's even worse when they try to set you up with the son of the woman that they work with. In what world is that going to work out, Aunt Gertrude?
