All throughout my life I have been subject to comparison for one simple reason: I have an identical twin.
My sister and I are spitting images of each other, and while we have differences that are easy for those close to us to pick up on, for people on the outside looking in, we are mirror images of each other. Over the years, we've heard and experienced a lot of crazy things.
People stare at us and do double-takes as we walk by, which we always notice. Being a twin is great for the most part because you have a built-in best friend, but it's not always fun and games. One of the worst parts of being a twin is the amount of stupid questions we get asked.
Some of them are obviously jokes, but every time someone asks them, there is a faint hint of seriousness in their eyes. Here is a list of questions that you should never ask a twin, because frankly, they make no sense.
1. "Do you have the same birthday?"
This question is thoughtless. Yes, it's true that there are rare cases where one twin is born at 11:58 p.m. and the next twin is born at 12:03 a.m., so they are technically born on different days, but c'mon. If you think about this for longer than three seconds, it's easy to tell that it’s a dumb question.
2. "Do you guys switch places often?"
It was alright to ask us this when we were in, like, third grade. It honestly baffles me the amount of times I get asked this question, even though I'm in college now. Why would I want to switch places with her? Who would benefit from that? If I went to her classes and she went to mine, we would both come out way more confused than before, and that is a lose-lose situation. No thank you.
3. "Can you, like, use your twin telepathy to tell what your twin is thinking right now, or feel when they get hurt?"
First of all, twin telepathy isn't really a thing. Secondly, do I want to know what my twin is thinking at this very moment? Definitely not. Do I want to feel my twin's pain whenever she gets injured? Tempting, but I think I'll pass.
4. "Which one of you is better at ___?"
To be completely honest, this question is insulting. Do you really think that we are going to answer that truthfully? "Well, my sister is way prettier, smarter, funnier, nicer and athletic at me, but it's okay!" Personally, my sister and I have the answer to this question down, always saying something along the lines of "Oh, we're just better at different things," to get you to stop asking.
5. "Can your parents and family even tell you apart?"
Yes, in fact, they can tell us apart. They are our parents after all, and this isn't the "Parent Trap," it's real life. We are two completely different people. Where you may see us as cloned copies of each other, parents and siblings can tell the little differences in mannerisms and looks without even thinking about it.
6. "Why don't you guys just get your names tattooed on your foreheads?"
Well, sure I'll get a tattoo, as long as it would make it easier and more convenient for you to tell us apart! Of course I'll take a needle to the face to establish that I am, in fact, me. I probably won't be able to get a job and no one will want to marry me, but as long as you, a random stranger, can tell my sister and me apart, I'll be satisfied.
7. "How do you guys tell yourselves apart?"
Wow, this question takes the cake every time. It's as if the people who ask this think that I wake up some days confused about my name and identity, and mistake myself for a completely different human being. If you don't randomly wake up confused about whether you're yourself or your sibling, then don't assume that twins are any different.
8. "Are you guys Siamese twins?"
Seeing as my sister and I are not connected in any part of our body, no, we are not Siamese. Also, that term is extremely outdated. Sure, there are sets of twins that are conjoined, but we don't even look like we are. Most twins aren't, so unless you see twins literally connected at the hip, this is definitely not a valid question.
9. "Do you guys finish each other's sentences or know what your twin is going to say?"
No, and no. But, people love to point out when we say the same thing at the same time, even if it has nothing to do with our twin-ness. If I said the same words at the exact moment that one of my other friends did, it wouldn't seem like a big deal, but the fact that we are twins makes people freak out.
10. "Wait, which one are you?"
While this question is slightly insulting, especially coming from a family member, at least they are up front about it. Honestly, if I'm taking the time to talk to you please try and learn my name before you talk to me. It would be very much appreciated.
