Whether you're about to be a high school freshman or a college senior, if you're entering new places amongst unfamiliar faces, at some point you're going to have to make new friends and meet new people. Gross. Awkward icebreakers suck, cheesy pick-up lines are even worse, and straight up asking people to be your friend unfortunately got old in kindergarten along with naps and everything else pure in this world. SO, how do you bud a genuine friendship flower you ask? You make them laugh. Laugh at themselves, laugh at you, laugh to cover their nerves and embarrassments, laugh until it has been 10 minutes and you haven't worried about saying the wrong thing because it doesn't seem there's a wrong thing to say. Also, it's very difficult to hide your true personality behind a few of these questions, so without further ado, let's expose the real you.
1. Have you ever killed a man?
Well I mean, you should at least ask. You never know nowadays.
2. Can you beat me in a race? Like right now? *run away*
If they chase you, you already know your new friend is loyal. (Also an escape route if their answer to #1 freaked you tf out.)
3. What is the most money you've ever spent at a Taco Bell?
I find this is a great way to discover not only the honesty in a person but how easily they can sacrifice bad health for deliciousness. A true test to the willpower is indeed defined by nacho cheese sauce.
4. What is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?
Now this one is risky because while it may offer a charming andetote, it could just as easily bring back very unpleasant memories of some sort of high school horror story, so do be prepared with a lighthearted tale of your own to break the tension in case of disaster.
5. Whats the longest you've ever spent in a Target? In a Walmart?
Two very different places, both provide equally entertaining discussions. Also a great way to tell how emotionally secure the person is, it takes some serious confidence to strut your way into a Walmart with pride.
6. What kind of shampoo do you use?
This one may not be funny, but they will surely laugh at you for asking. As a matter of fact, it does help to get to know them as well. You see, a complex and deliberate individual takes such things as shampoo very seriously and will know exactly off the top of their head just what kind they use and why. Someone a tad bit more happy-go-lucky will shrug it off as unimportant and such answer should assure you that they aren't concerned with the little things in life. And of course, per usual, the outgoing and vivacious person will be to overtaken with the joy of describing the smell of their shampoo rather than the brand or type: "It's something with either kumquats or coconuts..maybe both? but its really sweet and definitely has strawberries!!" You may even be prompted to smell their hair, whether you accept or decline is your prerogative, but either way this one simple inquiry will tell you a lot about your new peer.
7. Do you think I'm annoying??
They don't know you that well and you've already asked them seven questions, so you should at least check and make sure they're not frightened by you.
8. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
While it may not offer a chuckle, it will be funny to watch the person try and figure out a way to answer the question without sounding bad. One way you're a hipster-wannabe and the other way appears as though you're an amateur Instagram model. Either way you'll know if you have a new friend to take "photo creds" or capture your next candid.
9. What's an artist/song you enjoy that you fear people would punch you in the jaw if they knew about?
After they answer, no matter what they say, it is key that you promptly fake-out punch towards their jaw.
10. What is something you fear that you know you shouldn't be afraid of?
This could go one of two ways: an argument on the existence of ghosts or something equivalent to a lecture on why your new pal has no reason to run from ladybugs. I feel it's worth the risk to ask.
11. Do you pee in the shower?
Pure honesty test. Also a test to decide how comfortable you two are with each other. WARNING: don't you dare ask your roommate this because you two share a shower and you really do not want to know. Denial & Lysol.
So there you have it, a fruitful and friendly conversation made simple. Hopefully less awkward than rampantly discussing each other interests until someone yells bingo. Not to mention the benefits of noting subtle character traits early, giving you the upper hand on how to best nurture your newfound friendship. You'll be thanking me later.
