After a long week of finals, nights at the library and far too many cups of coffee, Christmas Break comes at the perfect time. Christmas songs, holiday parties and Santa-shaped cookies fill the atmosphere in my house. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year.
It only makes sense when the holiday arrives for these great traditions to happen, but recently a new holiday tradition in the form of relationship questions from friends and family has begun to take shape.
My response to those questions? Bah humbug.
I still love you, friends and family, but it’s honesty hour right now.
I’m not saying I don’t appreciate the interest in my love life, or in some cases, the concern for my love life, but please, consider what you’re doing to my poor, post-finals, sleep-deprived brain when you ask these five questions.
1. “So any new boys at school? Did you find a cowboy yet?”
“If you’re talking about the really cute guy in my mass media class that I told myself I’d talk to by the end of the semester, but failed to do so because ‘studying for finals’ prevented me from doing so, then yes. Yes, I did, and in my head, he was wicked nice to me and asked me to coffee.”
2. “So there’s no one you’re at all interested in?
“Well, I’m interested in that chocolate cake someone just put on the dining room table if that answers your question. And the new bottle of wine, the wine and I could have great conversations. Other than that, nope, no one at all”
3. “What about dates? Have you gone on any dates this semester?”
*Then about half way through the conversation, I realize the other person has proven how truly alone I am, which is comical in a sense, but then leads to a minor mental breakdown in my head.
4. In hopes to stray from the awkward conversation taking place, they’ll ask a question completely off topic.
“How have you been spending your time at school? Other than doing homework and studying?
“And not having a boyfriend? I have a great group of girlfriends and they’ve supported me through thick and thin. We actually call ourselves the Thitches, it’s so cheesy but so true. They’re pretty badass. I don’t think any guy can compare to them and our movie nights.
5. “Do you think maybe by the end of college you’ll meet someone?
*Which basically translates to…
“If I’m being honest, there is a slight chance I’ll grow old, live alone and own three dogs. But I’m not going to think about that right now. I choose to enjoy what’s in front of me right now, time with family and friends, unlimited doggie cuddling time and the chocolate cake that is still on the table. I sincerely appreciate the concern, but I promise you, as soon as someone walks into my lie who is worth sharing, I promise to bring him around.”
Batta bing, batta boom, conversation over, chocolate cake, here I come.
