Questions to Expect This Holiday Season

Here are a few questions you'll most likely get asked over Thanksgiving and Winter break.  Personally this is how I plan on answering them, and I hope they offer a little help to you as you go home to get absolutely grilled with questions from your friends and family.  

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"Funny you ask, for the past month I've been seeing Netflix.  Things are going fantastic.  The only time we fight is when Wifi gets involved, but other than that we're happy.  I don't know how I got so lucky." 

No, I am not.  And if I start I promise to send out a mass email.  Anyways no one should expect it because in the words of Miley, I can't be tamed. 

"How are classes going?"

"It is college how do you think they're going? HARD. It's so hard I contemplate weekly, maybe even daily dropping out and becoming a rapper, Grandma."

As long as I haven't dropped out yet, I don't see the necessity of asking this question.  It's going well enough for me to still be a university student, let's just leave it at that.

"What do you want to do after you graduate?"

"Become a rapper and call myself A-skizzy."

"How's the budget coming?"

*Responds with uncontrollable laughter/tears*

"Where are you living?"

"In an absolute sh*t-hole that I get over charged for every month.  I may have to sell my kidney for next months rent, but we'll see how that plays out.  I would donate plasma but lets be real that shady sh*t."

I feel physical pain when writing rent checks because it is that big of a rip-off.

"What do you do for fun on the weekends?"

"Oh you know, stress out about school, lose my phone at a bar, hang out with friends… whatever fun is going on."

"How do you plan to spend your break?"

"Oh you know, maybe working at the local homeless shelter, pick up a part-time job perhaps.  HA PSYCH I WILL DO NOTHING. I plan to mooch off my parents and seeing how many Netflix series I can get through before I'm forced back to school.  I'll probably illegally download some T-Swift music too.  She deserves it." 

Why would I make any plans over break when I'm able to sleep on  my parents couch for hours and eat all their food? I'll turn into an absolute slob over break no doubt.  

If you really want to know what I do in my free time, add me on Snapchat and watch my 'mystory.'  That can show, better than I could ever explain. 

I am going to avoid everyone of these questions like the plague.