Being a Floridian is all fun and games until you vacation outside of Florida. And let's face it, up north should be considered No Man's Land for Florida natives. We get some seriously odd questions. But we can't forget that Florida is different than any other state in the United States, so we can't judge people on the peculiar questions we get asked. But we can definitely joke about them. The following are the most common questions us natives have heard outside of our homeland:
1. "Do you go to Disney Land like every day?"
Let's get one thing straight: it's Disney World. Yes, there is a difference, and yes, we know if you don't appropriate the right noun for the Orlando park.
And no we don't go every day. You would be insane to. Prices for Disney World are over a solid hundred dollars. A Floridian has to fork over a lot of cheddar to go every day. Even if you have season passes, you have to be spending over a decent amount of your paycheck to afford the payments on those. We wish we could go every day, but Florida isn't always a vacation.
2. "I bet you go to the beach all of the time."
This isn't necessarily a question, but it's still something we get very often. It's not always beach weather. By 5 PM every day in the summer, there will have been about 3 storms. Some with lightning, some just rain, and some during sunshine. It's hard to plan beach trips in the summer if you don't want to experience torrential downpour. Many (like myself) don't even watch the news because it will most likely rain.
But we aren't worried about beach trips in the summer. We can go on Christmas Day if we wanted to.
3. "Well what's so special about Publix anyway?"
Moment of silence for the disrespect.
4. "How do you deal with the alligators?"
Well, we don't go in lakes. That's how we deal with them. Alligators can be found in any body of water, even pools. Unfortunately, many tourists don't know to stay away from fresh bodies of water. On top of that, Floridians don't know that tourists don't know to stay away from fresh bodies of water either.
Remember the tragedy between the 2-year-old boy being pulled in a lake by an alligator at a Disney resort? As horrendous as that situation was, it definitely shed light for tourists and natives on the dangers of fresh bodies of water in Florida.
5. "How far are you from _____ (insert major city here)?
Because the only four cities in Florida are Miami, Orlando, Jacksonville, and Tampa. And these cities are so big that they take up the entire state of Florida. But most of the time, that's honestly how you have to describe your town. The easiest way to explain where you live in Florida is just in relation to the next biggest metropolitan city.
Sometimes it's tough for the Orlando natives since some people think it's all theme parks and there's no room for any neighborhoods. Miami is also all beach houses and Tampa is all cargo ships with pirate festivals.
However, with our cases of bath salts, Zika virus, and wild boa constrictors in the Everglades, it's hard to imagine Florida as a functioning society. But we are, and our odd situations in the Sunshine State won't end anytime soon. As crazy as it can get down here, I'm not speaking for myself when we are proud to call this place home, even if we all have Zika virus and just don't know it yet.
If you ever feel like Florida isn't the best state to live, just remember, we live where others vacation.
