I remember being in high school and dreaming about college. I dreamt about the parties, the friends, the new atmosphere, the new boys. I also dreamt about the new place with no more drama. And you know what drama I’m talking about. It’s the cattiness and trying to fit in and dealing with just purely mean girls. In high school, college seemed like an escape for me. And it was.

Coming to college was like “coming up for fresh air,” as McDreamy would say. I started to notice things about myself that I never had before. I no longer had to try so hard to be friends with people; real friendships just fell into place. I no longer had to try to know the “cool kids” in order to go to parties. College has shown me that I can be whoever I want and I can do whatever I want to do because it is MY life. And I truly mean that; I’m kicking college’s butt. I have great grades, I strive to be a great student, and I’ve met people that I wish I had met years ago.

But I also want to say this: the confusion doesn’t go away. And neither does the problems that come along with it. Although going away to college has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, good grades and new friends don’t always make the confusion disappear.

And I’m not talking about the confusion where you have trouble picking between ordering Chinese food for dinner or Italian. I mean the deep stuff. Am I making the right choices? Am I taking care of myself, physically and emotionally? Am I worrying about me first before everyone else? Am I branching out of my comfort zone in order to take advantage of the opportunities I have now before I never get them again? Am I enough? Will this decision I make today haunt me for the rest of my life or is it the start of a better path? I ask myself these kinds of questions daily.

I’m writing this because I know (at least I hope) that I’m not the only one who deals with this. I can’t be the only college student that still sits in bed some nights thinking about the what if’s and the what do I do’s. So to anyone who is having one of those emotional days that makes your mind wander and forces you to question yourself: I am here to tell you that it’s okay to feel like that some times. It’s OK to feel confused and sad and angry. But after you feel that for a little, try reminding yourself that you are not alone. You aren’t the only person still feeling this way. You tell yourself that and then put a smile on your face because you faced it. And you’re getting past it and growing. And be proud of yourself. You are your biggest cheerleader. So face that confusion with open arms and grace, because you’ll get past it. I know you will.