Your twenties are hard, confusing, and one of the most difficult times of your life. Everyone seems to be on a different page: people are going to college/trade school, getting engaged, getting married, breaking up, having babies, moving, making career changes. No paths are the same, and it's okay to feel a little lost or confused for a while. You are supposed to make the wrong decisions.
Lately, this has been my future and what will make me the happiest. I thought it was being a teacher, but lately my heart and gut have been leading me in a different direction. When I decided to be an English major, teaching was the safe go-to in my mind, but I always wanted to work in publishing. Books have been in my life from the moment I was born, and I have always pictured myself working in a publishing house reading manuscripts, and that puts the biggest smile on my face. I always told myself to be safe and to make the safe choice, but what's life if you just stay safe? Life is messy, hard, and risky. If you don't take risks in life, you aren't living.
Big risk offers a big reward.
I'm on a different path and page than some of my friends, and that's okay. The finish line doesn't move; everyone goes at their own pace- and my pace right now has to be a little behind some of my friends. I'm making a change to my studies and trying to find out who I am as a person. My life seems to be falling apart, but falling together at the same time. I have the greatest friends and family who support me in everything I decide to do.
My dad has always told me to aim for the stars, and to never apologize for who I am. I am going to carve out the life I want for myself, filled with great people, great stories, and great adventures. I like having a plan, and that is why deciding to not be a teacher freaked me out. I know life kicks plans to the curb, but having a plan where I know my next step helps me remain calm.
My best friend smiled at me when I told her how I wasn't going to be a teacher and said, "I knew you'd be a great teacher, but I know you wouldn't have been happy doing it your whole life." Everyone I told about changing my concentration just smiled, like they knew it was going to happen.
My biggest fear was telling my parents. I didn't want them to be disappointed in me or disappointed that I wasn't sticking with a career I had decided on three years ago. But they weren't. My dad was hoping I was finally going to follow in my Mom's footsteps and be an RN. No Dad, blood and taking care of people is not for me. Either way, both of them just said, "do what makes you happy, and do your research, like you always do." I research everything I can before making a decision, and I know this is the career path I am meant to go down, and I look forward to working in the industry I have admired my whole life.
Life is difficult, beautiful, and messy, but it's one hell of a ride.