Every time I go out to eat with family or friends, I can't help but notice the number of people who touch their phone before, after and during the time that they are at the table to eat. Often this happens regardless of whether that person is alone or not, which makes me quite upset. I've seen couples silently staring at their phones sitting across from one another with food in front of them, families with children all staring at their phones, parents staring at their phones while feeding children, friends liking Instagram photos as they eat and every and any type of person at a table looking at their phone during a meal.
It scares me how it has become a social norm to be touching a phone while having a meal. A meal is something that brings people together and should be spent enjoying each other's company, not enjoying an Instagram feed (which definitely can be done another time) while eating.
Though it also shocks me how often that happens to myself. I would be out to eat lunch with some friends, which come very rare these days with the great distances and lack of time we now have, and a few of them would whip out their phone and they would browse Instagram and no conversation would ensue during that time. Even with a one-on-one hangout, I have experienced someone take their phone out and text a few people and browse Twitter, mid-conversation.
When this happens to me, I am, one, extremely shocked. I feel unimportant and second to social media. This might sound like an overreaction, but can the likes and the texts not wait? And if they can not, can you say a quick word or two (an "Excuse me" or "I gotta reply to this" would suffice) about the emergency? Two, I feel disrespected. When I find time to have a meal with someone, it's a finite amount of time that I made to treasure with that person. Is it bad that I want to remember conversations and laughs, not the top of someone's head who's staring at their smartphone? Maybe this is old-fashioned thinking or maybe a bit stiff, but I want spend quality time with people I know.
But I can not say that I always follow this personal rule. Of course, I sometimes get an itch to touch my phone during an awkward pause in a conversation, or simply just because. We all touch our phones so often, when we don't, it's weird. But I think that if we stay conscious about what's actually important, we can stay away. So when an awkward silence happens, I don't pull the phone out, I simply let the silence stay or try to strike more conversation. I don't want the other person to feel the disrespect and shock that I feel when someone pulls the phone out on me. I mean, what's a good friendship or any type of relationship without some kind of "awkward" at one point?
So next time you're hanging out or going out to eat, spend some quality time with the person or people without the phone. The likes and texts can wait.
