The Pursuit Of Something New

The Pursuit Of Something New

Learning to be okay with deviating from the original plan.

For those of you that know me, you know that I am a highly organized and a thought out person. Everything has a place and purpose, and nothing goes without thorough investigation. This theology and practice especially applies to planning for my future. From a young age, the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" has always had an answer. Yes, the answer changed about every year, but I always had a plan.

When I was five, I was all too determined to be a mermaid princess. My plan was to be one of the best swimmers in the world, and magically develop the ability to breathe underwater and grow a tail. Maybe, even a haphazard accident like in H2O: Just Add Water. A few years later, I wanted to become the top marine biologist, and planned to graduate from the University of Madison Wisconsin, one of the best marine biology school at the time. And the list of dream jobs and plans continue.

For every job phase I went through I took the time to think my career path out. Including picking out the classes I would take in high school, and the university I would attend. I would read about what each job entailed and how much I would make. Whatever aspect you can think of I researched it, and it is a lot more fun than you would think.

When I hit sixth grade, I fell in love with film. I was watching The Sorcerer's Apprentice and fell in love with the inspiration and magic that movies create. I started watching movies and then re-watching them with the director's commentary. Trying to get all the tips and tricks I could. As you probably guessed, I did my research, and was captivated by the highly exclusive profession. From there, I started writing scripts for movie ideas and would think about the shots that I would take. From the beginning of middle school all the way through high school, minus one semester, I was completely sold on the idea of becoming a film director.

Last year, I entered my first year of college as a film major ready to officially make my dreams come true. Most of the art classes I had to take for my first year explored different branches of art. From drawing to wood shop and design. I wasn't too excited about having to take classes that didn't pertain to my major, but I knew I had no option. So, I went into my classes with no expectations, and did not expect to find a new passion: graphic design. I have always loved looking at different designs and had developed a certain aesthetic, but I never thought that it was something I could do. Taking the digital tools class opened my eyes to the different possibilities of design, and I truly enjoyed creating.

The thought of wanting to do something other than film scared me. For years, I had cultivated and invested in the dream of becoming a film director. Over the summer, I had some free time on my hands and started designing little typography designs. That small time waster turned into a true passion. Design ideas began flowing through my mind, and the idea of changing my career path became a more probable idea.

In short, deviating from my usual sureness and planning, I have officially decided to change my major from film to graphic design. However, I am still holding on to the dream of working in film, and will be declaring it as a minor. Cheers to the future!

Cover Image Credit: google images

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College Can Be Difficult, But Trust Yourself, Girl

Life can throw you curveballs sometimes, and times can get tough, but it is SO important to pick yourself up and trust that you can do anything.


I'll be honest, this school year was one of the hardest years of my life. There were lots of moments throughout the year that I just wanted to go home and get away from it all. I had to be reminded that I have been raised to try as hard as you possibly can, and I was doing that. It took some determination and time, but I didn't give up.

No matter how bad I felt, I stayed and persevered.

Now that I am home for the summer, I have been reminiscing on the past two semesters of school. At the beginning of the school year, I had a much different idea of how it would go. It was going to be "my year," but somehow while the year was going on, I felt that I had been completely wrong. It's easy to come to quick conclusions when life doesn't exactly go your way. Conclusions like "this year has been the worst year ever" and "I can never get a break" were often popping up in my head. My grades weren't where I wanted them, and I was surprised by a lot of occurrences that I never expected to happen (imagine a wild ride). I found out who my true friends are and who I could rely on, and luckily, my circle only grew. Being extremely extroverted, it was hard for me to get out and just do something. Being in this "rut" took a toll on me. I had to make those hard decisions about doing what was best for me in the long run instead of doing something just for the moment. Trust me when I say, this was NOT easy at all.

Through all the tears and change all around me, I decided to proceed to the finish line because I am NOT a quitter.

I decided that it was time for me to allow myself to fully, undeniably be me. I wanted to start doing the little things I enjoy again like working out, taking pictures, and simply just going out to do anything. I started forcing myself to take any opportunity that came my way, and it helped. One of the things that brought me so much joy was kickboxing – talk about therapeutic, people! Kickboxing at least three times a week helped my mood shift so much, and it was a start to seeing me again. I am so blessed with friends who would come over at, literally, any time of the day. Spending time with them helped me more than they could ever know. We did anything from just hanging out in my living room to splurging on a fun dinner. Through everything that I was doing daily, I was learning how to rely on myself. Looking back now, I have never really had to know what it felt like to rely mainly on myself. I did get so much help from my family and friends, but what good could their help do if I didn't want to help myself first?

Even though I felt like this was one of the worst years of my life, it taught me so much more than I ever expected. Looking back now, I grew so, so much. I learned how to smile when times get tough. I learned that it really is okay to not be okay sometimes, and it will be okay eventually. I learned that it's okay to ask for help because we weren't made to do life alone. Most importantly, I learned how to trust myself. My hope for anyone reading this, you will learn from my experience that the worst seasons get better. I am in such a good place right now because I never gave up, and I will continue to never give up. In a short amount of time, I am seeing how far I have come and how much I grew.

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