Thanks to help from some of my sweet friends back home in Knoxville, I've compiled a short list of things to keep in mind when pursuing love in the new year — advice that's straight from the minds of real gals that have helped me through heartbreaks, but also supported me in happy times.
1. What happens via social media doesn't mean sh*t.
The fact that social media has added a whole new dynamic to the way in which we form, and even view, romantic relationships, is an indisputable fact.
Through a positive lens, it can be argued that the increased frequency in communication and the promotion of self-expression through these platforms has the potential to strengthen relationships, but conversely, the personas we display online can be distorted, which can prove to be a big hurdle for incipient relationships.
I shouldn't have to say this, but it's pertinent to the content of this article — if the failure to maintain a Snapchat streak puts your union (or potential union) in jeopardy, it's time to reevaluate. The same can be said for the pictures your S/O "likes" on sites like Instagram.
Of course, there is a line between harmless and evasive, but as long as you have no other reason to believe that their "like" equates to anything beyond the virtual realm, then there's no reason to risk the stability of your relationship with pointless arguments.
2. Your time is the most important time.
No matter how much you love someone, finding room in your schedule for quality time with your S/O amid work, school, and other mandatory obligations, can be a logistical nightmare. Remember that you have a life outside of your relationship and growing as an individual is just as, if not more, important than growing as a couple.
Individuality is crucial to self-confidence, and being happy with your self is integral to being happy with someone else. Don't revolve your schedule around theirs, but communicate in order to reach fair compromises that allow the both of you to be your own people.
3. Time with your friends is important, too.
Falling in love with someone can, indeed, be magical, but allowing yourself to become consumed with the object of your affections, and that person alone, can be dangerous.
No one wants to look back on their time and feel like they missed out on making valuable memories with the people who saw them through all the ups and downs, so it is important not to forget them on one particularly enchanting 'up.'
Foster friendships between your S/O and your friends. In the wise words of pop icon Hannah Montana, an ultimate queen of time management, "mix it all together [so that it's possible to hang out in a group] and you know you've got the best of both worlds.
4. Excommunicate lingering ex's.
I am someone who firmly believes you can be friends with someone after you break up, but not right away. Without a clean break in communication, the lines between friend and more than friend can be blurry, and prevent real healing from taking place.
The truth is that even the most amicable breakups can sting; there needs to be a period of readjusting to life without someone who was once a fairly significant part of it so that a genuine friendship is possible.
If you're not interested in friendship, making sure that the ex is out of your life is the first thing it takes to properly move on.
5. Above all things, don't compare your relationship to anyone else's.
If no two people are exactly alike, then it's safe to deduce that no relationship is exactly alike either. It's fine to accept solicited advice from friends, but remember that all the information you obtain from the experience of others is just relative to what you are going through.
It's not an exact guide to how you should act or what you should do. You know yourself and your S/O the best, and you have to trust that that means you are best person to assess your relationship. If you're happy, that's all that matters.
