Y'all. All I've wanted since I've come to TCU and seen the relationships around me and seen the way men pursue girls, in the most positive and uplifting way, is to be pursued like that. A man who pursues my heart rather than my body.

My whole life since I entered the dating scene a few years ago focused on me seeking validation from men in a way that was ruining me. What I was expecting to make me feel better, and feel good about myself, was making me hate what I saw in the mirror. I was not chasing after a God that has loved me so well, but rather chasing after empty, broken, relationships. I, who am called to be his daughter, was breaking my fathers heart, and shattering his dreams and plans for me because I thought I knew what was best. I so badly craved the validation that I was pretty enough, skinny enough, andfunny enough for someone to want me.

This only led me to lose my identity. I didn't know who the girl was that was staring back in the mirror. I for certain didn't like her, but for some reason I continued down this reckless path. I entered in and out of relationships that did nothing but satisfy my physical needs. Spiritually, emotionally, and mentally I was empty and broken.

To be pursued by a Godly man means to be pursued by someone who has first pursued the Lord. He is a man that wants to know your heart, and love it. He wants to mold your heart and your relationship and push it more towards the Lord. He wants to know you, your highs and lows, the good and bad, the beautiful and the ugly. He is someone that doesn't just want to hang out with you. He wants to date you, and know you, and care for you. He wants to love you in a way that Christ has called him to. In a way that Christ has loved us.

Ever since I came to understand the gospel and how freaking rad Jesus is, I have been praying to him constantly to send someone who is going to pursue my heart and wreck my life in the absolute best way possible. I have been praying for a Christ-centered relationship. I have been praying for a man who wants to know me, know my heart. I have been praying for someone who will grow with me. I have been praying for someone who will help me set and keep boundaries. I have been praying for all of this and so much more, because I have come to realize I am worth SO much more.

I was made for his kingdom and I want to spend my days worshipping his kingdom, and I really want to do it with an uplifting man by my side. My biggest prayer currently is one of patience. I'm praying for patience to find a man like this. Patience in the start of the relationship, and seeing if it's right. I'm just praying that the Lord makes my heart patient. That he show me my worth and reminds me that I don't need the validation of boys anymore.

I think we all know and understand that it's okay to feel wanted sometimes, we've all had that desire. The lust. THIS IS OKAY. We were designed to crave that. But this is just an erotic type of love, that fulfills us physically. We just have to be stronger than that in our hearts and our spirit. We have to search for agape love. The godly love that is shown to us in the Bible. And run like heck to it. Because I've seen it working in some people's lives and holy heck that is something I want to be a part of and I hope you all do to.