Why Purity Culture Ideals Are Harmful

Why Purity Culture Ideals Are Harmful

It's not great for one's self-esteem

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I haven't grown up with experience in purity culture. I was lucky to have parents that were open and accepting, as well as schools which taught not with a motif of shame, but of caution and respect to us as young adults. The only reason I really know a good amount about purity culture is because of the internet, and having friends who grew up in this kind of environment.

As many people do not know what purity culture is, it is an ideology within more conservative Christian sectors which puts emphasis on not having sexual relations before marriage and promotes strict modesty standards, especially for young women, regarding clothing and behavior.

There is nothing wrong with choosing to wait until marriage, as everyone's sex lives is their personal business, but it is the way abstinence and purity is taught in this culture that is harmful to both young women and men, specifically the idea that women are less pure or valuable if they choose to have sex before marriage, or that men have little self control when it comes to sex.

Of course, it's not only in this specific conservative subset that these ideals are preached. A popular comedy show on Netflix, "Jane the Virgin," starts off in a flashback of main character Jane as a young child, depicting her grandmother showing her a flower, and then telling her to crush the flower while claiming that the flower essentially represents her if she chooses to have sex before she gets married.

I've heard so many instances of girls being compared to objects such as bicycles, flowers, unwrapped candy, and being told that, much like objects, they have the ability to be "ruined" and "used" because they didn't dress modestly enough, or chose to lose their virginity at the "wrong" time. When I was younger, I saw a video on Youtube where a speaker came into a middle school classroom with a paper heart. Using scissors, he cut off parts of the heart, claiming that each time you have sex with someone you give part of your heart away, and it impacts your ability to truly love the person you were meant to marry.

Here's what's wrong with this. People are not objects. We are complex and nuanced, with the ability to love more than one person in our lifetime. It is incredibly damaging to a young girl to imply to her that the most valuable thing about her is her virginity, instead of her heart, her goals, and her humanity.

It is also disingenuous and insulting to young men to believe that all they want from a woman is to have sex with her, or to push the viewpoint that men in general can't refrain from harassing a woman depending on the clothing she's wearing. Men who are good people are not like this. And it can also be damaging to a young man to teach him from a young age that sexuality is something to be ashamed of.

People should be allowed to accept that their sexuality is a part of them, and make their own decisions without feeling pressure or shame. The only time I think someone has any business in someone else's sex life is to make sure they are informed on how to be safe and respectful.

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14 Stages Of Buying Jonas Brothers Concert Tickets As A 20-Something In 2019

"Alexa, play "Burnin' Up" by the Jonas Brothers."

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In case you missed it, the Jonas Brothers are back together and, let me tell you, they're giving us some major jams. For those of us who were there when it all began back in 2007 with their first album, It's About Time, this has been one of the most important events of the year. But nothing, and I mean nothing can rival the excitement every twenty-something felt as the Jonas Brothers announced their Happiness Begins tour. I, for one, put my name in for ticket presale, have been following every single social media site related to the tour/group, and, of course, listening to the Jonas Brothers on repeat. And if you did manage to snag tickets, then you know that this is how your brain has been ever since they announced the tour.

1. Finding out that they're going on tour

2. Hopefully entering your name into the lottery to get presale tickets

3. Finding out that you actually get to buy presale tickets

4. Impatiently waiting for your presale tickets by listening to their songs on repeat

5. And remembering how obsessed you used to be (definitely still are) with them

6. Trying to coordinate the squad to go to the concert with you

7. Waiting in the Ticketmaster waiting room...

8. ...And feeling super frantic/frustrated because there are about 2000 people in line in front of you

9. Actually getting into the site to buy the tickets

10. Frantically trying to find seats you can actually pay for because, let's be real, you're twenty-something and poor

11. Managing to actually get the seats you want

12. Joyfully letting your squad know that you've done it

13. Crying a little because all of the dreams you've had since 2007 are coming true

14. Listening to every single Jonas Brothers song on repeat (again)

If you, like me, have finally fulfilled one of your dreams since childhood, then congrats, my friend! We've made it! Honestly, of all the things I've done in my adult life, this might be the one that child me is the most proud of.

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11 Amazing TV Shows That Are Ending in 2019

All good things must come to an end.

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It might just be the beginning of 2019 but there are many TV series wrapping up already. There are many breathtaking and original pilots around along with several reboots coming. This might be one of the greatest year for TV.

However, all good things must come to an end. Some series have been planned out and are going to be finished while others have been cut short. Sadly, here's a list of TV series to say goodbye to this year.

1. The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

Final Date: May

12 Seasons//279 episodes

2. Orange is the New Black (Netflix)

www.youtube.com

Final Date: End of 2019

7 seasons//91 episodes

3. Jane the Virgin (CW)

www.flickr.com

Final Date: Mid-late 2019

5 seasons//100 episodes

4. Games of Thrones (HBO)

HBO

Final Date: Summer

8 Seasons//73 episodes

5. Broad City (Comedy Central)

Comedy Central

Final Date: March

5 seasons//50 episodes

6. VEEP (HBO)

HBO

Final Date: Spring

7 seasons//67 episodes

7. Homeland (Showtime)

Showtime

Final date: Summer

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8. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Netflix)

Final date: January 25

4 seasons//52 episodes

9. The Affair (Showtime)

Amazon

Final Date: End of 2019

5 seasons//42 episodes

10. Friends From College (Netflix)

Final Date: End of 2019

2 seasons//16 episodes

11. Crashing (HBO)

HBO

Final Date: End of 2019

3 seasons//24 episodes

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