I turned 20-years old about a week and a half ago (it's too late to donate to my Facebook fundraiser, sorry), and now I'm stuck in that post-teenage rut. Obviously, I don't expect everyone at age 20 to be at the same stage of life, or on the same path of life for that matter, but leaving my teens behind does make me wonder if there's something more I should be doing to achieve my optimum level of success.

Personally, I've just begun the last semester of my undergraduate degree, which is scary enough without the added pressure of being another decade older. If you know me, you know that I started college as a Psychology major. Although that wasn't the road for me, sometimes I can't help but revert back to my old psych books as security blankets when I'm getting existential. If you're in a similar boat, and you've just turned an age that either a) you can't believe is here already, or b) can't believe it took so long to reach a milestone, I did a little (amateur) research on what it is we can do to feel more at home in our new age-related expectations.

My favorite resource for psych content is The Princeton Review prep book, "Cracking the AP Psychology Exam." Granted, that exam was almost 4 years ago for me, and I should probably refer back to my own advice on letting go of unneeded items. That didn't stop me from sitting down with a cup of coffee and a bowl of Cheerios to peruse Chapter 13: Developmental Psychology.

According to The Princeton Review, it depends. There are two schools of thought on maturation in developmental psychology, and just how the nature versus nurture debate rages on, psychologists don't have a definitive answer as to which side is right. With that, I will introduce both of them to you, and you decide which idea best suits your life plan.

First, there's the idea of continuous and discontinuous development. As suggested by the name, continuous development contends that people mature and develop slowly, and without interruption. Discontinuous development is the opposite. Experts that back discontinuous development believe there are clear and distinct stages of physical, cognitive, and social growth each person goes through.

My favorite version of those kinds of stages come from Erik Erikson, but of course, there are others if his cognitive theories don't strike your fancy. Erikson, let's see if you remember from Psych 101, was the first to develop a cognitive theory that involved development over someone's entire lifespan. Prior models only detailed people up to around age 12, and let's be honest, if nobody studied how to predict people past age 12, the world would be a different place. Erikson's stage in early adulthood state that people in this phase of life are seeking Intimacy, and therefore risk Isolation if they fail. That sounds kind of doomsday, but it may not be as terrifying as it seems.

If you're about to or have already turned 20, chances are you've had thoughts like, Oh my gosh, my friends and I aren't as close as we used to be or Yes, Grandma I'm still single. Now pass the turkey, please. You're probably psyched out of your mind about building the lasting relationships that Erikson says are supposed to start the foundation of your emotions for the rest of your life. But everyone's different. You can be 20, 21 or any other twenty-something and still have a tenuous grasp on what you want or who you want to be close to.

My advice to you (and to myself) is if having these fears is freaking you out big time, try to let them go. Moving forward, and advancing through the stages of development, can't be rushed. Just relax, and enjoy new combinations of sensory experiences and neural pleasure pathways that come with every day. Development will come, as will your comfortability with each stage (if you believe that sort of thing). Take a deep breath, blow out that "20" candle and have a slice of cake. Psychology is usually right about this sort of thing.