Hello. My name is Rachel. I'm 5'9". I'm 115 lbs.
Now, when you read that, I'm guessing you had one of three reactions: 1. "I don't get it," 2. "Wow, I wish I weighed 115 lbs," or 3) "DANG YOU'RE SO SKINNY (and really tall). THAT'S NOT HEALTHY."
For those of you who "don't get it," here's the deal: I'm really skinny. I'm not "toned" or "athletic." I'm just plain thin. I have a high metabolism and come from a family full of tall, skinny people. It's just genetic. When I was little, I had no idea I looked abnormally skinny. Weight just wasn't something on the radar of 10-year-old me. I didn't even know what anorexia or bulimia were until I got to high school and had friends struggling with eating disorders.
In high school, I got used to being asked, "Are you eating? Are you sure you're not anorexic?" at least once a month. At first it didn't bother me. I almost began to feel flattered. After all, you're supposed to be flattered when people say you look too skinny to be healthy, right? But here's the part that really bothered me. When I would answer "No, I'm eating a ton, and I'm not anorexic," I would immediately be told, "Dang, you're really pretty. I wish I could naturally be as skinny as you." It's also disconcerting that, whenever I ask my friends to guess how much I weigh, the girls usually guess that I'm anywhere between 95 and 110 lbs. That means that their picture of a "perfect body" is close to 25 lbs. below a healthy weight for their height and age.
It took me a while to realize that, because I didn't have an eating disorder, being underweight was no longer seen as a negative. Um, what? There's a difference between having an eating disorder and being naturally underweight, but neither are good things and neither should be idolized. Now, because of my body type, being 115 lbs. isn't that big a deal, but I'm still underweight. I'm fully aware of that, and I'm working on gaining weight. I promise.
The biggest issue is that, as soon as people hear I'm not anorexic or bulimic, they assume my skinniness is the same as ultimate physical beauty (an exaggeration, but some people really go crazy in telling me how jealous they are of my body type). Here's the truth: wearing 00L jeans isn't all it's cracked up to be. I don't struggle with any eating disorders, but I still struggle with my weight. It's hard to remember to work towards a healthy weight when I'm constantly being told how jealous people are of how skinny I am. It's hard not to feel guilty when I do gain weight because I know there are so many people who think that the ideal body is only 115 lbs. and would love to have a naturally insanely high metabolism like mine.
Ladies. Please. Hear me when I tell you to stop idolizing the double zeroes. Healthy weight depends on body type, not pants size. I'm not begging everyone to stop telling skinny people they're pretty and start shoving burgers down their throats. But seriously, just because I'm not anorexic doesn't mean that I don't need to be encouraged to gain weight. Whereas obese people feel social pressure to lose weight, being underweight is almost completely ignored so long as you're not anorexic. If anything, looking underweight is glorified. But being underweight is just as big of an issue as being overweight. Just because I'm not anorexic doesn't mean that being 115 lbs. is healthy or beautiful. People are beautiful because they are human, not because they're thin without turning to eating disorders.
