I hate asking people to pay me back for things. It's uncomfortable for me and I wish they would just remember on their own. More often than not, I let it slide and end up losing a dollar here and there because I don't have the balls to get back what's mine. But, those dollars here and there add up, and soon enough I'm out $100 for being a nice girl (the hegemonic term is “nice guy" so this is me being a feminist).
Why should I sacrifice my hard earned (parents') money because you forgot your wallet and don't have enough money to pay for that ice cream cone you just ordered? It seems trivial, but when you lend people small amounts of money because you feel badly and want to be a good friend, you put yourself at risk for not getting that back. It's awkward to ask someone to repay you for that one dollar you spotted them a few weeks ago. “It's just a dollar" they might say, or “It was just a dollar," I usually rationalize. “I'm not going to be petty and ask for it back." But, those dollars that seem worthless actually have real value.
The key word is “lend." If you lend your money to someone, or “spot" them, an invisible contract is signed that requires the recipient of the loan to pay it back. The lender, herself, should not have to ask, because it is the responsibility of the second party to uphold her end of the contract.
When I lend my money to people, I expect that I will get it all back, unless I say that they don't have to. This is a huge problem that I think many college students experience. Most of us are given a monthly allowance from our parents; some of us have to work to pay for luxuries, and an exceptional few can exhaust whatever amount they desire on daddy's (or mommy's) credit card.
Everyone's allotted spending money is different, and people should never assume what that allotment is. I overheard someone ask their friend to buy a ticket for their philanthropy event. He said, “Yeah, sure! Let me just check my bank balance," to which the other person replied, “Are you kidding? It's five dollars!" I thought that was incredibly rude. She had no right to make him feel inferior because of the possibility that he couldn't expend that small amount. That probably wasn't her intention, but she disregarded his reality and assumed that her fortunate financial situation was the same as his.
They say that advice is easier to give than to take, which is totally true. Right now, three people owe me money and I am not going to ask any of them for it. Until next week!
