Long distance relationships are more common than you think, especially in college. Just because you and your significant other are going to different places doesn’t mean you want to give up your relationship completely. My boyfriend and I started dating my freshman (his sophomore) year of high school, and two years later, we didn’t want to stop dating just because we’d be apart. Now, another two years later and we still go to different schools, but only 30 minutes apart. Here are the pros and cons of dating someone at a different school.
PRO: You avoid being seen as one half of a pair.
In high school, everyone was used to seeing us together and knew each of us just as well as the other. In college, you each meet different people that will only know your S.O. through you. I'm not saying you can’t be your own person in a relationship, but there’s something to be said for personal space.
CON: You’re not around your other half.
Growing up in a relationship can sometimes lead to dependence and not knowing who you are without the other person, and this can be a really bad realization once you’re by yourself. Even though you have to go it alone for a little while, you’ll be a stronger and more independent person because of it.
PRO: Going home for breaks or the summer won’t be so lonely.
People who date in college usually live pretty far from each other, so going home for breaks can be bittersweet. If your S.O. lives in the same hometown as you, going home is all sweet.
CON: College can be lonely sometimes.
Making friends in college is so easy to do, and there are so many things to do that you’ll almost never be alone, but doing things without your partner may feel weird for a while. Usually your S.O. is your best friend, and not having that person around can be pretty lonely even if you’re surrounded by people. The trick is finding your people; they will lift you up when you’re down about missing your girlfriend/boyfriend, and soon, you’ll have plenty of best friends to pick up the slack.
PRO: PERSONAL SPACE!
No matter who you are, everyone needs personal time and space. I’ve never lived with my boyfriend, but at this point in my and probably most young adults’ lives, it would not work. No matter who you are with, eventually you get annoyed with them and you get in fights. Having your own place to go when that happens is best for you and your relationship.
CON: Seeing your friends with their S.O. all the time.
Whether on social media or in person, seeing other couples all the time will make you nostalgic and miss your bf/gf. The best thing you can do is to remember all the good times you’ve had with your S.O. and that the separation is only temporary. The grass is always greener on the other side, so don’t think too much about what could have been. Learn to live with the situation you’re in and make the best of it.
As scary as it might be, don’t be afraid to be with someone just because of distance. Plenty of people date, are engaged, and even are married long distance, and if you truly allow it to, it will make you and your relationship so much stronger. Don’t be afraid of change (in terms of your location) and don’t be afraid of consistency (in terms of your S.O.). You can do whatever you set your mind to, and should do what’s best for you and your relationship, not what someone else thinks. Stay true to you, and every little thing will be alright!
