As my parents approach their 21st wedding anniversary, I have come to realize that while their arranged marriage did not start off as a typical romance, it is far more successful than most love marriages today. The continuation of my family tree has relied almost exclusively on arranged marriages and although this seems terrifying and bizarre to me, it is still a common practice in most Indian families.
In most cases, once the son or daughter of a family becomes a young adult, the parents will begin looking for a spouse for their child. In the case of my parents, my mom's extended relatives knew my dad's mother and got in touch with her to see if my dad was looking for a potential wife. The two families will then meet and if a connection is established, preparations for the marriage will shortly follow.
It seems crazy to think that my parents barely knew each other before their wedding day but in India, marriage is more than just a ritual to solidify the love that two people share for each other. It is an act that perpetuates the family's status in society and ensures that the family continues to grow.
Most people might think that arranged marriages have become archaic in modern society but the reality is quite the opposite. In a 2013 survey, 74% of Indians (aged 18-35) believed that the decision of who they get to marry should be left up to their parents. Why does this trend continue to this day?
Why would anyone want to get an arranged marriage?
One possible explanation could be that arranged marriages (specifically for Indians) are extremely successful. The divorce rate amongst Indian couples is shockingly low — only 1 in 100 Indian marriages end in divorce. Additionally, in a recent study that compared Indian-American couples married by arrangement and by choice, it was found that the people in arranged marriages were just as happy and satisfied as those in a free-choice relationship.
The alarming success rates for arranged marriages could be caused by a variety of factors. In a typical Indian arranged marriage, two people from the same socioeconomic class and background are paired together, which means that their experiences, as well as their values in regards to money and work are very similar. Furthermore, newlyweds in arranged marriages tend to have lower expectations for their partners because they have not known them as long as people in free-choice marriages. Lowering one's expectations implies that they can be met more easily and result in a harmonious relationship.
While the studies focused on arranged marriages suggest that they can be highly successful, I would personally never want to go through with one. Arranged marriages might be practical and the perfect solution for someone who does not want to spend time looking for their soulmate, but they lack the spontaneity and unexpected twists of fate that come with the beginning phases of dating someone new.
For me and the other hopeless romantics out there, arranged marriages are and will never be up to par.
